this is the second of a 2 part article (please excuse the length) about how you can learn from losing, often learning more than from winning.
I describe my experiences at my weekend workshop with James Van Praagh http://www.vanpraagh.com/ and the lessons I learned.
So, after that reading (from Part 1),
I was wondering why I do Psychic/ Mediumship (P/M) readings at all;
I was that upset.
I considered taking down all my blog postings on P/M,
taking all references to P/M from my website and just give up.
I went home that night ready to cancel my weekend at Omega
and take down my P/M shingle for good.
I was that miserable.
Fortunately, I spoke with my friend Sylvia (an excellent Psychic/Medium),
who helped me tremendously.
he said, “Garry, picture a balance scale,
measuring all the readings you have ever done …
on one side sits all the good ones and the other all the bad ones.
What would this balance scale look like?”
As that image formed in my mind,
I saw the scale overwhelmingly heavy with good readings
and only a handful of bad ones.
I not only saw the good readings,
but the faces of the sitters who were so happy with their readings;
how their energy changed after their reading;
how light and good I felt after giving them messages
from their loved ones in spirit
and how I was aware of a feeling of appreciation and gratitude
from spirit, after a good reading
(I plan on expanding on this feeling of gratitude
from spirit in a future posting, suffice to say, we [P/M’s] work
for those in spirit more than for the sitters who pay us).
That conversation was just what I needed
to get me off the floor and back in the game.
Sometimes it seems to be necessary to get shot down occasionally
so that you know how to get up, brush yourself off and keep on keep’n on!
I thanked her for showing me this simple metaphor
and I realized that I had allowed these two sitters
to so negativity influence me that
I wanted to quit this work that I love to do.
I also realized that my ego was hurt and that was why I felt like quitting…
It hurts when your self-image is attacked.
After a good night’s sleep, I woke up and in the shower,
I washed off the negative energy that I absorbed the night before
and looked forward to the coming weekend
at Omega in Rhinebeck NY,
where I would learn from James Van Praagh himself.
I also planned to relay this experience
(of a reading where the sitter would not take anything I offered)
to him for advice;
I was not disappointed.
On Friday July 16, 2010,
I arrived at Omega at 6:30pm after a drive from hell,
287 North was closed for emergency repair;
one lane open and a 3 hour ride took 6 hours,
but the frustration vanished
with the smiles of the young people working at Omega.
If you get a chance to take a workshop there, you really should,
it will be worth your time.
After settling into my room,
I walked into James’ Friday night introductions.
We had about 125 people there
and we were all anticipating a great weekend.
James began by answering the questions of the participants
and I was able to ask him the question
that was praying on my mind from that Monday’s reading.
He had two helpers
running back and forth handing microphones to the questioners.
“James, I had a reading this past Monday”,
I said as the microphone was handed to me.
With a big broad smile, he said to wait for the microphone
so everyone can hear, as I continued…
“I was giving a reading to a woman and her 30ish year old son…”
I relayed how no matter what I said; no matter how strongly
I knew I had a good link with the spirit of their husband/father
they refused to accept anything.
His answer to me was understandable and simple,
but his follow up about the ego was profound and worth relaying.
He said that all you can do as a Medium
is to give the information that you are receiving
from a spirit to the sitter the best you can
and if your intention is coming from a place of love;
you are doing this work for all the right reasons;
your heart is in the right place
but your sitter is too closed off to accept it
or if they come to the reading with preconceived ideas
or if they want to hear from only a specific spirit
and not the one that is there,
there is nothing anyone can do.
I understood and accepted his rather basic response, but he continued…
“Sometimes”, he said,
“your ego gets in the way and you get upset because
the person you are working with doesn’t understand
that you are a wonderful P/M;
you are a loving individual
who is doing this work for all the right reasons;
they don’t see the work you are putting in
or the energy it takes to do this work…
They don’t know that you were a boy scout
and that you love puppy dogs
and you go to church every Sunday…
They misjudge you…
He then said something worth repeating…
often…
“What people think about you…” he said
“Is none of YOUR business!”
Now re-read that statement,
because it is simple, true
and is something a lot of us would disagree with.
It’s none of your business what people think of you!
Wow another Life’s Lesson!
Saturday at James’ workshop
was a great learning experience
and I met some great people and new friends.
I met Jali on Saturday morning and
we hit it off as if we knew each other for years (lifetimes?).
She is an amazing psychic medium from Marylandher website is
http://www.psychicphotoreading.com/
we did a few psychic exercises together
and I was impressed with her dead – on (no pun intended) readings.
She was kind enough to send me a bunch of photos
and I will attempt to paste them onto this posting
(using my extremely limited computer expertise).
The photo below was by far the most interesting.
James did only one reading the entire weekend,
letting the participants gain a lot of
practical experience as opposed to
watching a pro (James) in action (doing a bunch of readings).
Jali emailed a photo of that reading,
when James was reading the energy of a spirit
for a young woman in the audience.
I’ll attach it below but the amazing thing was
that out of all the photos,
only this one when James was reading had some interesting…
well…
observers for lack of a better description.
No other photos I saw from that weekend had orbs like these in them…
I count 8!
On Sunday before we finished at 12 noon,
James said that he would be bringing up some of us
to “read” for the audience.
Talk about pressure!
Reading a group of Mediums
with James Van Praagh sitting behind you
and he is NOT an easy teacher.
He said from the start that he was going to push us
right out of our comfort zones,
and he did just that!
At first only one person raised their hand.
James said “Good!”,
that he had seen her work and that he would help her.
She came up and did he ever push her!
He was helping her refine
the information she was getting,
but by the time the reading was through,
she was exhausted
and I saw a lot of hands
that had been waving to get a chance to read,
quickly go down and some hands were being sat on!
I was torn between wanting to challenge myself
and embarrassing myself.
I knew that the challenge to do the work
was coming from my “higher self”; my sub-conscious P/M self
and the part of me that was afraid
that I would embarrass myself
was most definitely coming from my ego.
One of the important lessons James taught us
that weekend was the detrimental effect
of listening to your ego
over your intuitive (psychic) self.
I wanted to challenge myself
and decided to ignore my ego
although with that decision,
my ego got louder…
until…
I “felt” the presence of an older man in spirit
touch my arm.
As James was choosing who would be next to read,
my hand had a mind of its own!
It shot straight up
waving like one of my students
in High School
who had to really,
really go to the bathroom.
I felt as if the spirit of this older man
was standing behind controlling my hand!
But I truly wanted to challenge myself for a number of reasons.
First, I felt very comfortable
that I had a strong connection
with this man and after all is said and done,
we Mediums work for them.
If he needed this message to get to someone in the audience,
I felt it would be my honor, duty and pleasure to bring his message through.
Secondly, this was a place
and time where we were all supporting each other
and there were a lot of egos outside,
banging on the windows and doors,
mine included and
I made sure I had left my ego outside
with my flip-flops.
I was ready to do this.
Now, James had called up three other people
and my hand was shooting up
when each one finished
and I honestly felt that I was not going to be picked
and then the strangest thing happened…
I “threw it up to the Universe”
I said in my head to whoever was listening,
my spirit guides;
my higher self;
the spirit of the old man;
God…
“If I am going to do this work
and the time is right, it will work out.”
I felt a sense of calmness wash over me and I heard…
“You’ll be the last one up!”
I don’t know who it was,
but I heard it as clear as day…
“Calm yourself…”
“Prepare yourself…”
“You Will be the last one up…”
The calmness I felt continued…
James announced that he had a plane to catch
and that he had to leave at 12 sharp,
so he could only do a total of five readings
and picked the 4th reader…
I felt I would be next;
no fear;
no apprehension;
no doubt!
When the 4th reader stepped off the stage,
handing James the microphone,
James had his back to me,
looking at a sea of hands all wanting to be the last to read.
This memory will always stay with me.
He turned around, microphone in hand,
pointed it at me and asked if I wanted to read!
I can’t describe what went through my mind in one millisecond!
Yes!...
Hell Yeah! I want to read!
OMG! It really worked,
I asked spirit to help and they did exactly what I asked for!
They said I would be last and I am the last reader!
OK mister, ghost guy…I am all ears, talk to me.
Who do you want to connect with?
What relationship did you have with the person in the audience?
How did you die?
Give me more information…
Then another voice said…
“Holy crap you better do this right
this is THE James Van Praagh!
You better not screw this up,
like you did Monday!”
and I knew Mr. Ego was back in the house!
In my mind I pictured standing up facing my arch nemesis,
grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and his belt,
kicking the door open,
throwing him out the doorway
like John Wayne in every western he ever made…
and then hearing from the PA system…
in the voice of James Van Praagh himself…
“Garry’s Mr. Ego has just left the building!”
…and good riddance.
The reading went great!
I went up on stage
and sat in a chair
with James sitting behind me to my left.
He prompted me to calm myself…
to breathe deeply…
to allow an image to form…
“I have an older man here”, I started…
“Good”, said James, “describe him!”
“He is telling me that he drank and
that is what contributed to his death;
he is a father to a man who is not here,
but his wife is…
This is a woman’s father in law…
He was an educated man,
a professional, doctor, or lawyer...
A tough demanding father…
showed no love to his son.. your husband.. ”
I continued with some more evidence
with James giving me hints as what to ask him,
how to phrase my questions.
I felt that James knew exactly who it was I was connected to.
Finally two women raised their hands claiming this man may be for them,
one in the front of the group
and one in the back.
With some more evidence,
we were able to narrow it down
to the woman in the back of the room,
who was able to accept everything that was coming though.
Then it was time for the all important message,
which was short and powerful.
He wanted me to relate
that he was so very proud of his son,
that he was never able to show his pride
for his son while he was alive.
He was incapable of showing love
and alcohol only made his aloofness
all the more hardened and at times violent.
He said that he was asking for forgiveness from the whole family;
that this was the first time he was able to get through to anyone;
that he had been so difficult to live with that in spirit,
his whole family refused to hear him
as he tried from spirit
to communicate and to apologize to them.
But they heard now!
Through the openness of his daughter-in-law,
the message would finally be delivered to his son,
with the additional sweetness
of saying that his son
is a better person, man and father
than he had ever been
and he can finally relay to his son
through his son’s wife
that he is proud of the man he had become
and that he truly does love him.
There were few dry eyes,
including mine when this man had finished allowing me to help him get his message out.
I will always remember that weekend at Omega and the many life lessons I learned there.
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