Synopsis,
This posting is a follow-up to a previous article titled “Anger Management and the Adolescent Child”.
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2008/08/anger-management-article.html
In this, Part 2, I review what has happened since Jack’s initial sessions and the two most recent sessions. I describe why I realized I had to change my approach to help Jack with his anger management issues. In Part 3, I describe how I went from directing him to accept his anger to using forgiveness to allow him to control and hopefully eliminate his anger.
In my posting titled “Anger Management and the Adolescent Child”
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2008/08/anger-management-article.html
I introduced you to Jack. A fourteen and a half year old, adopted young man with many emotional problems, not the least was the inability to manage his anger.
I have seen Jack ten times since then and he is now almost 16 (“15 and ¾” according to Jack).
His anger has continued to cause major complications and problems in his life, his parent’s lives and the lives of those around him.
Our last session was in late October 2009, when we had what I feel was a major breakthrough.
I made a decision to change the direction I was taking with Jack in his attempt to understand, accept and control his anger. This decision to change my approach with Jack actually started in late August, when I received an email from his mother and I knew without speaking on the phone, that Jack and his parents were having a very bad time.
I scheduled our session for mid September 2009, right after the start of the 2009/10 school year. At that session, I found out the Jack had been having many uncontrollable fits of rage.
His mother, Diane told me on the phone, that while on vacation in August to the Grand Canyon, with the family, he had a meltdown; cursing, screaming and was totally out of control.
Jack’s parents did not know what triggered the explosion.
“One minute he was fine, not talking a lot, but fine. When Peter (Jack’s father) said that he couldn’t buy a trinket, he blew up! We had no clue it was going to happen. One minute everything was fine and the next there was complete bedlam.” After calming down, Jack realized that he was wrong, but realized that he was totally unable to control his anger and he asked Diane to set up an appointment with me.
She also relayed a recent incident that happened at school, which ended with EMS being called to transport Jack to the hospital for observation. At the school and in the hospital, he was totally non-communicative. He would later tell us at that session that it was his attempt to control himself so he wouldn’t explode again. His method to control the anger from erupting was to totally shut off, saying that if he had said anything, he knew he would again lose control and once again explode. He was showing control in the attempt, but I needed to show him another way of controlling his anger, but I was running out of ideas.
Our appointment was on a Monday and when Jack, Diane and Peter came into my office, Jack seemed very upset, biting his lip, very sullen, referring to his parents as “he” and “she”. His parents described what had happened the day before. The argument had gotten so loud and out of control, that Jack said it got physical, describing how his mother grabbed him around his throat.
After a discussion involving how there are two sides to every story or argument, I got most of the facts needed and unfortunately, I saw a side of Jack that I had never seen before and it really concerned me.
This was another fight over Jack hearing the word “NO”, but it went entirely out of control. His father who told him that he couldn’t do something (what the something was, in fact, was unimportant) and Jack again exploded. Throwing things yelling at his father and culminating with Jack screaming at both parents…
“You are not my parents and never will be!” as he stormed away from them.
Diane explained that, that is when she physically restrained him, in order to calm the situation down.
In our past sessions, I felt that if he was conflicted by his anger, he needed to accept his anger in order to control it. Now he was accepting his anger so well, he was using it as a weapon to hurt the two people in the world who had proven to him that they would never reject him.
And now he was rejecting them!
I realized that the direction I was taking with Jack; specifically the acceptance of his anger did him a disservice.
I knew that if we could help him eliminate the anger, there would be no need to control it.
Eliminating anger is always preferable to simply controlling it, but again… how?
I knew that he had to accept the pain of growing up and that what was done, was done.
There was no changing history and the only way he would be able to get on with his life was to forgive everyone who hurt him.
I knew that without finding that forgiveness for all the people in his life who had betrayed him, any time he felt the least bit of understandable or justified anger, he would explode, automatically releasing all the pent up pain, rejection, anger and fury inappropriately at everyone near him.
The two people who warranted that release of anger the least and who unfortunately received it the most were his parents.
“Did that happen?” I asked Jack, “Did you really say that your parents?”
He simply said, “Yes…” with no eye contact.
I knew he was apologetic and wondered if his parents heard a real apology;
not just a gratuitous, “sorry…”
I continued, “Do you really feel that way? That they aren’t your parents and never will be?”
He again simply shook his head, no and again with no eye contact.
His sadness was palpable.
“Jack” I said, “Sometimes when you explode, you don’t think clearly and you can say things, really hurtful things, like what you said to your Mom and Dad, but you don’t mean them.
When these things are said, you want to take them back, but feel that it’s too late. So you want to apologize but you feel you can’t. Do you know what I’m saying?”
He looked up and nodded in agreement, in a way that I knew, he agreed with my assessment of the situation.
I continued, “Jack… Do you think that your mother would ever reject you? Now don’t answer right away… think about it…”
Without a second’s hesitation, he looked up at me, then to Diane, shaking his head, saying strongly… “NO!, she wouldn’t”
“Your father?” I asked. This time he hesitated a second, mulled over the question, took a deep breath and said truthfully and definitively… “No, he wouldn’t reject me either.”
“Do you absolutely believe that?” I asked
“You are not just saying that… It is what you truly believe?
Your parents WOULD NOT… EVER REJECT YOU?... Right?” He quietly nodded “yes”
“If you believe that, then, do you know how much it hurt these two people” referring to his parents" to hear those words from your mouth?”
As he looked up at them, tears were starting to form in his eyes (along with his father’s, his mother’s and mine).
The next posting will be next week and will conclude this 3 part Posting, reviewing the change in the way I used hypnotic intervention in Jack’s situation.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 2
Synopsis,
In Part 2 of this posting, I describe our hypnosis session and what was uncovered. Three days after our session, I spoke with Michelle’s mother who described the effects of our session. I offer my evaluation and comments on this hypnotic intervention.
Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 2
Michelle felt comfortable having her mother present during the session,
so the three of us moved from the waiting room in the front of my office
to my office to the back,
where Michelle sat on my recliner and her mother sat on a chair in the doorway.
The session began with new age type music;
Steven Halpern’s “Higher Ground”,
playing in the background.
I used a standard hypnotic “induction” called progressive relaxation and when Michelle allowed herself to relax and go into “the altered state” of hypnosis, I deepened her trance state by bringing her to a very safe place.
Michelle was a great hypnotic subject.
In a comparison to the general public,
regarding the ability to go deeply into hypnosis,
she is probably in the top 10 percent,
going very quickly, easily and deeply into “Somnambulism” (the most effective state of hypnosis).
When I work with a new client,
I must plan the session I will use with them, as we are talking.
The “small talk” is very important for me because I get insight to decide which hypnotic techniques from the hundreds available, is right for my client.
In talking with Michelle and her mother,
I decided that a combination of three techniques,
which I have used before, in cases like Michelle’s,
would probably work very effectively.
My plan for Michelle was to use
-“Parts Therapy” to identify the claustrophobic part of Michelle that was so fearful of elevators and once that part is found,
I would use;
-“Regression Therapy” to go back in time to the very first time this fearful part was formed.
This “First time” experience is known as the “ISE” The Initial Sensitizing Event and sets the foundation for the fear to grow;
and finally
-“Gestalt Therapy” to change her perception of the fear itself,
in order to eliminate the fear completely and permanently.
After Michelle was in a deep hypnotic state, I had her seek out that claustrophobic part of her subconscious (Parts Therapy).
When that part was found, we worked together to get in touch with how Michelle physically felt when in an elevator.
We followed that feeling to earlier and earlier times in her life
(Regression Therapy), until we found the ISE.
Her ISE was when she was four years old in Disneyworld.
She recalled being in her father’s arms as they were entering an elevator.
He reacted to the thought of being in an elevator with a powerful panic attack, running out of the elevator.
She realized that that was why she became claustrophobic.
Her father, who was her protector, demonstrated that there is something to desperately fear when in an elevator.
She was shown, exactly how and why this fear was accepted by her four year old self (Gestalt Therapy)
and with a little more insight,
she realized that the fear was not truly hers,
but an adopted fear that was no longer necessary.
Her hypnosis session went absolutely perfectly!
When the session was over, Mary said that she remembered the elevator experience but never realized that it was that experience that caused Michelle’s fear.
Michelle said that although she now remembers the experience, the memory had been repressed.
We went back out to my waiting room to discuss the session in greater detail.
I wanted to know what concerns Michelle still had.
For people who have just experienced hypnotic intervention for the relief of a phobia, the greatest concern is the “What-If’s”.
Specifically, What if it didn’t work?
When I brought up the “What-if” concern, both Mary and Michelle said that that was their largest concern.
My response to the What-if’s, is that she must challenge herself.
My suggestion was to go directly to the Rockaway Mall and go into every elevator in the place.
Challenging herself to gain back the control that she had lost.
To challenge herself to gain control and not let the fear control her any longer.
When they left my office, I felt absolutely confident that Michelle was going to be fear free and would gain control back in her life.
Three day later, I received a call from Mary.
“Garry, I have to tell you…”
Her tone of voice concerned me, quiet and serious.
“Damn” I thought,
her tone of voice sounds as if the fear that Michelle had was still present.
I was truly surprised.
Michelle’s session was picture perfect.
I would not have changed a single thing about the session; it was that perfect!
So why did I get the feeling that I was going to hear some bad news about the results of our session?
I was overreacting and wrong…
“I can’t express to you the results of your session with Michelle”
Mary started,
“Except to say, Thank you so, so much!”
I felt as if a weight was removed from my shoulders!
I was relieved, happy and curious as to how they knew so quickly that the phobia was gone.
“As you suggested, when we left you we went straight to the Rockaway Mall.
We went into every single elevator there and guess what?...
Not only did she have no fear at all,
but she was actually laughing in the elevator.”
When someone with fears similar to Michelle’s,
has had a lifelong phobia and gains their control back,
it is not uncommon for them to laugh
when they are in a situation that would have caused a phobic attack.
Laughter is the indication that they are aware of the fact that they are no longer controlled by their fear.
The laughter is the release they feel when the fear is replaced by a sense of control.
I always appreciate feedback from my clients. Some email me and I am thrilled to post their comments on my website.
When I heard how good Michelle was doing, I felt thankful that I was able to help a young person eliminate a fear that had been ruining her life and had brought her such heartache.
Even though it was Michelle who obviously gained the most from our session, each and every session I have, where I can contribute to someone’s happiness, I also gain.
I am thankful for that opportunity to participate in a situation where there is mutual joy and closure.
If you are interested to learn more about fears and phobias, look at my 3 part article “PHOBIAS A to Z”
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009/05/phobias-from-to-z-part-2.html
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009/05/phobias-from-to-z-part-3.html
In Part 2 of this posting, I describe our hypnosis session and what was uncovered. Three days after our session, I spoke with Michelle’s mother who described the effects of our session. I offer my evaluation and comments on this hypnotic intervention.
Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 2
Michelle felt comfortable having her mother present during the session,
so the three of us moved from the waiting room in the front of my office
to my office to the back,
where Michelle sat on my recliner and her mother sat on a chair in the doorway.
The session began with new age type music;
Steven Halpern’s “Higher Ground”,
playing in the background.
I used a standard hypnotic “induction” called progressive relaxation and when Michelle allowed herself to relax and go into “the altered state” of hypnosis, I deepened her trance state by bringing her to a very safe place.
Michelle was a great hypnotic subject.
In a comparison to the general public,
regarding the ability to go deeply into hypnosis,
she is probably in the top 10 percent,
going very quickly, easily and deeply into “Somnambulism” (the most effective state of hypnosis).
When I work with a new client,
I must plan the session I will use with them, as we are talking.
The “small talk” is very important for me because I get insight to decide which hypnotic techniques from the hundreds available, is right for my client.
In talking with Michelle and her mother,
I decided that a combination of three techniques,
which I have used before, in cases like Michelle’s,
would probably work very effectively.
My plan for Michelle was to use
-“Parts Therapy” to identify the claustrophobic part of Michelle that was so fearful of elevators and once that part is found,
I would use;
-“Regression Therapy” to go back in time to the very first time this fearful part was formed.
This “First time” experience is known as the “ISE” The Initial Sensitizing Event and sets the foundation for the fear to grow;
and finally
-“Gestalt Therapy” to change her perception of the fear itself,
in order to eliminate the fear completely and permanently.
After Michelle was in a deep hypnotic state, I had her seek out that claustrophobic part of her subconscious (Parts Therapy).
When that part was found, we worked together to get in touch with how Michelle physically felt when in an elevator.
We followed that feeling to earlier and earlier times in her life
(Regression Therapy), until we found the ISE.
Her ISE was when she was four years old in Disneyworld.
She recalled being in her father’s arms as they were entering an elevator.
He reacted to the thought of being in an elevator with a powerful panic attack, running out of the elevator.
She realized that that was why she became claustrophobic.
Her father, who was her protector, demonstrated that there is something to desperately fear when in an elevator.
She was shown, exactly how and why this fear was accepted by her four year old self (Gestalt Therapy)
and with a little more insight,
she realized that the fear was not truly hers,
but an adopted fear that was no longer necessary.
Her hypnosis session went absolutely perfectly!
When the session was over, Mary said that she remembered the elevator experience but never realized that it was that experience that caused Michelle’s fear.
Michelle said that although she now remembers the experience, the memory had been repressed.
We went back out to my waiting room to discuss the session in greater detail.
I wanted to know what concerns Michelle still had.
For people who have just experienced hypnotic intervention for the relief of a phobia, the greatest concern is the “What-If’s”.
Specifically, What if it didn’t work?
When I brought up the “What-if” concern, both Mary and Michelle said that that was their largest concern.
My response to the What-if’s, is that she must challenge herself.
My suggestion was to go directly to the Rockaway Mall and go into every elevator in the place.
Challenging herself to gain back the control that she had lost.
To challenge herself to gain control and not let the fear control her any longer.
When they left my office, I felt absolutely confident that Michelle was going to be fear free and would gain control back in her life.
Three day later, I received a call from Mary.
“Garry, I have to tell you…”
Her tone of voice concerned me, quiet and serious.
“Damn” I thought,
her tone of voice sounds as if the fear that Michelle had was still present.
I was truly surprised.
Michelle’s session was picture perfect.
I would not have changed a single thing about the session; it was that perfect!
So why did I get the feeling that I was going to hear some bad news about the results of our session?
I was overreacting and wrong…
“I can’t express to you the results of your session with Michelle”
Mary started,
“Except to say, Thank you so, so much!”
I felt as if a weight was removed from my shoulders!
I was relieved, happy and curious as to how they knew so quickly that the phobia was gone.
“As you suggested, when we left you we went straight to the Rockaway Mall.
We went into every single elevator there and guess what?...
Not only did she have no fear at all,
but she was actually laughing in the elevator.”
When someone with fears similar to Michelle’s,
has had a lifelong phobia and gains their control back,
it is not uncommon for them to laugh
when they are in a situation that would have caused a phobic attack.
Laughter is the indication that they are aware of the fact that they are no longer controlled by their fear.
The laughter is the release they feel when the fear is replaced by a sense of control.
I always appreciate feedback from my clients. Some email me and I am thrilled to post their comments on my website.
When I heard how good Michelle was doing, I felt thankful that I was able to help a young person eliminate a fear that had been ruining her life and had brought her such heartache.
Even though it was Michelle who obviously gained the most from our session, each and every session I have, where I can contribute to someone’s happiness, I also gain.
I am thankful for that opportunity to participate in a situation where there is mutual joy and closure.
If you are interested to learn more about fears and phobias, look at my 3 part article “PHOBIAS A to Z”
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009/05/phobias-from-to-z-part-2.html
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009/05/phobias-from-to-z-part-3.html
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle- Part 1
Synopsis;
This 2 part entry is about Michelle (not her real name) a 19 year old High School graduate who is going to be attending college in the fall of 2009. She has claustrophobia which manifests specifically in a fear of elevators and enclosed spaces. In Part 1, I describe in general, my experience with working with people who have phobias; getting a call from Michelle’s mother; my first impressions and the specific plan I decided to use to help Michelle eliminate this phobia and be able to fearlessly get on with her life.
Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 1
The elimination of fears may be one of my most favorite hypnosis sessions.
I do believe there is no other type of intervention that has such a powerful and immediately positive result as hypnotic intervention for the purpose of eliminating a phobia.
When people come to my office for the elimination of fears or phobias, it is as if they are sitting there in the waiting room, with a dark cloud over their head. Phobic people are consumed with their particular phobia.
If they are not currently in the midst of a phobic attack, which can manifest from a mild discomfort to a full blown panic attack, they are constantly dreading and anticipating the emergence of the symptoms.
Very often fears or phobias take on a life of their own;
compounding, strengthening and sucking the joy from the person’s life.
Often the phobic person’s fear has been ruining their lives for as long as they can remember.
There are many different types and causes of phobias (see my blog posting “Phobias from A to Z”)
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/search/label/Phobias
There are also many commonalities between people with phobias.
-These fears are very often lifelong fears.
-They tend to become stronger over the years and manifest in other areas in the person’s life.
-The victim of a phobia feels hopeless and helpless against their fear.
-They feel alone in their fear; that no one truly can understand how the fear affects them.
-That no one takes their fear seriously; saying thing like, “just deal with it” or “Get over it, you’re such a wimp!”
-Often their self respect is negatively affected and they feel weak and helpless against it.
-The phobia itself becomes a tangible entity always present, ready to pounce and steal away what little joy the victim has left.
But, perhaps the most common and debilitating commonality is the “Tag Team” of “Anticipatory Anxiety” and the “Self-Fulfilling Prophesy”.
I call them a tag team because that is how they work; in tandem.
Anticipating the phobia, sets the stage for it to happen and unfortunately it almost always comes true.
Michelle’s mother Mary (not her real name) called me with many concerns for her daughter.
Mary said that Michelle would be attending college in the fall of 2009 and there were elevators in the dorm.
When Michelle saw them her phobias went into high gear.
Mary also told me that Michelle had been coping with the fear of elevators and enclosed places, by avoiding them.
She had sought therapy, but it didn’t help and she was curious if hypnosis could help her daughter.
We made an appointment for the following week.
In the office, my first impression was that Michelle was an attractive eighteen year old who reminded me of my daughter, when she was a senior in the same high school.
As I normally do, I began the session with introductions and a brief biography about how I became involved with hypnosis; how hypnosis works; the conscious and sub-conscious mind; etc.
The reason for this small talk in the beginning is for many and specific reasons.
It allows people to get comfortable with me and it allows me to decide on which of the hundreds of hypnotic interventions available for me to use, is right for my client.
I allow extra time for what may seem to be “small talk” but in fact it is critical, so everyone is calm and relaxed, before we begin the hypnotherapeutic part of the session.
I observed that Michelle was a bit nervous, which is very common and normal, but there was more.
She wanted it to work so badly and wanted to get right to the hypnosis.
Some people, who come to see me for the first time, may be a bit nervous and want to talk before the hypnosis session begins.
Michelle seemed distracted and I sensed that she did not want to talk at all. My sense was that she wanted to get right on with the hypnosis; small talk was unnecessary.
I asked her if my hunch was correct…
that she was OK with hypnosis,
that she felt and hoped it would work and that she just wanted to do it and hopefully she would be “cured” of this fear that has taken the joy from her life.
After explaining that I needed to know some more information from her, she relaxed and became less anxious to begin. I told her that we could get started as soon as I had all the information I needed.
Michelle relayed to me how the fear ruined her life;
How she had an opportunity to see the taping of the Tyra Banks TV show
and as soon as she saw the elevator she couldn’t go in the building,
causing annoyance to her friends and fear, embarrassment and frustration to Michelle;
how her boyfriend is losing patience with having to adjust his social life to accommodate her fears,
along with a few more situations when her life was negatively impacted by her fear.
I then asked her if she always had this fear and if anyone else in the family had similar phobias. She said that her fear was present for as long as she could remember and Mary offered the (important) fact that Michelle’s father and she had similar phobias. With a half smile, Mary suggested that perhaps “Michelle got it from us”, meaning her parents.
I explained to them both that phobias are not genetic or hereditary; they are environmentally started.
I felt that the fear started with a panic attack her father or mother experienced when Michelle was little and the fear imprinted in the subconscious of Michelle’s young mind.
I described to both Mary and Michelle, what I planned to do.
Under hypnosis, I would have Michelle enter “The Hallway of Her Mind”,
seeking the “Part” of her that is frightened of enclosed places like elevators.
Once we allow the memory to come out of the sub-conscious,
I can then do a process called “Reframing”
where I actually change the way Michelle felt about the memory.
The important thing to remember is that we do not eliminate the memory…
we can’t.
But we can change the way the person feels about the memory and thus, eliminating the fear associated with the thing that is frightening them so badly.
In the next posting
“Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 2”,
I will describe how the hypnosis session went and what was uncovered.
Three days after our session,
I spoke with Michelle’s mother who described the results and my evaluation and comments on this hypnotic intervention.
This 2 part entry is about Michelle (not her real name) a 19 year old High School graduate who is going to be attending college in the fall of 2009. She has claustrophobia which manifests specifically in a fear of elevators and enclosed spaces. In Part 1, I describe in general, my experience with working with people who have phobias; getting a call from Michelle’s mother; my first impressions and the specific plan I decided to use to help Michelle eliminate this phobia and be able to fearlessly get on with her life.
Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 1
The elimination of fears may be one of my most favorite hypnosis sessions.
I do believe there is no other type of intervention that has such a powerful and immediately positive result as hypnotic intervention for the purpose of eliminating a phobia.
When people come to my office for the elimination of fears or phobias, it is as if they are sitting there in the waiting room, with a dark cloud over their head. Phobic people are consumed with their particular phobia.
If they are not currently in the midst of a phobic attack, which can manifest from a mild discomfort to a full blown panic attack, they are constantly dreading and anticipating the emergence of the symptoms.
Very often fears or phobias take on a life of their own;
compounding, strengthening and sucking the joy from the person’s life.
Often the phobic person’s fear has been ruining their lives for as long as they can remember.
There are many different types and causes of phobias (see my blog posting “Phobias from A to Z”)
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/search/label/Phobias
There are also many commonalities between people with phobias.
-These fears are very often lifelong fears.
-They tend to become stronger over the years and manifest in other areas in the person’s life.
-The victim of a phobia feels hopeless and helpless against their fear.
-They feel alone in their fear; that no one truly can understand how the fear affects them.
-That no one takes their fear seriously; saying thing like, “just deal with it” or “Get over it, you’re such a wimp!”
-Often their self respect is negatively affected and they feel weak and helpless against it.
-The phobia itself becomes a tangible entity always present, ready to pounce and steal away what little joy the victim has left.
But, perhaps the most common and debilitating commonality is the “Tag Team” of “Anticipatory Anxiety” and the “Self-Fulfilling Prophesy”.
I call them a tag team because that is how they work; in tandem.
Anticipating the phobia, sets the stage for it to happen and unfortunately it almost always comes true.
Michelle’s mother Mary (not her real name) called me with many concerns for her daughter.
Mary said that Michelle would be attending college in the fall of 2009 and there were elevators in the dorm.
When Michelle saw them her phobias went into high gear.
Mary also told me that Michelle had been coping with the fear of elevators and enclosed places, by avoiding them.
She had sought therapy, but it didn’t help and she was curious if hypnosis could help her daughter.
We made an appointment for the following week.
In the office, my first impression was that Michelle was an attractive eighteen year old who reminded me of my daughter, when she was a senior in the same high school.
As I normally do, I began the session with introductions and a brief biography about how I became involved with hypnosis; how hypnosis works; the conscious and sub-conscious mind; etc.
The reason for this small talk in the beginning is for many and specific reasons.
It allows people to get comfortable with me and it allows me to decide on which of the hundreds of hypnotic interventions available for me to use, is right for my client.
I allow extra time for what may seem to be “small talk” but in fact it is critical, so everyone is calm and relaxed, before we begin the hypnotherapeutic part of the session.
I observed that Michelle was a bit nervous, which is very common and normal, but there was more.
She wanted it to work so badly and wanted to get right to the hypnosis.
Some people, who come to see me for the first time, may be a bit nervous and want to talk before the hypnosis session begins.
Michelle seemed distracted and I sensed that she did not want to talk at all. My sense was that she wanted to get right on with the hypnosis; small talk was unnecessary.
I asked her if my hunch was correct…
that she was OK with hypnosis,
that she felt and hoped it would work and that she just wanted to do it and hopefully she would be “cured” of this fear that has taken the joy from her life.
After explaining that I needed to know some more information from her, she relaxed and became less anxious to begin. I told her that we could get started as soon as I had all the information I needed.
Michelle relayed to me how the fear ruined her life;
How she had an opportunity to see the taping of the Tyra Banks TV show
and as soon as she saw the elevator she couldn’t go in the building,
causing annoyance to her friends and fear, embarrassment and frustration to Michelle;
how her boyfriend is losing patience with having to adjust his social life to accommodate her fears,
along with a few more situations when her life was negatively impacted by her fear.
I then asked her if she always had this fear and if anyone else in the family had similar phobias. She said that her fear was present for as long as she could remember and Mary offered the (important) fact that Michelle’s father and she had similar phobias. With a half smile, Mary suggested that perhaps “Michelle got it from us”, meaning her parents.
I explained to them both that phobias are not genetic or hereditary; they are environmentally started.
I felt that the fear started with a panic attack her father or mother experienced when Michelle was little and the fear imprinted in the subconscious of Michelle’s young mind.
I described to both Mary and Michelle, what I planned to do.
Under hypnosis, I would have Michelle enter “The Hallway of Her Mind”,
seeking the “Part” of her that is frightened of enclosed places like elevators.
Once we allow the memory to come out of the sub-conscious,
I can then do a process called “Reframing”
where I actually change the way Michelle felt about the memory.
The important thing to remember is that we do not eliminate the memory…
we can’t.
But we can change the way the person feels about the memory and thus, eliminating the fear associated with the thing that is frightening them so badly.
In the next posting
“Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 2”,
I will describe how the hypnosis session went and what was uncovered.
Three days after our session,
I spoke with Michelle’s mother who described the results and my evaluation and comments on this hypnotic intervention.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Our Changing Times - Our Amazing Times
It is Saturday 6/20/2009 and it’s raining…
It has been raining now for three straight weeks in a row and it feels like three months in a row. I feel like a moldy wet rag and I can’t wait to see blue sky and the sun again.
My wife is at work and I have the house to myself.
I have been struggling with a two-month-old writers block, but I have recently been feeling the urge (need) to write.
So here I sit, at my kitchen, looking out into the wet, grey sky. Feeling blah…
I have my laptop on the table, open to my book,
“Spiritual Evolution- A Journey from Atheism to Spirituality”…
I notice that for whatever reason, I am distracted.
I have the TV on CNN and I am engrossed by what I am seeing.
Iran… What had been the “Axis of Evil” ...our enemy…
Is in the midst of another revolution.
The first thirty years ago was bad for the US but worse for the world.
Religious extremism of any type… Muslim, Christian, Jew is simply wrong.
Now images of young Iranians putting their lives at risk in support of their freedom are on CNN and I can’t break away.
I see the bodies of young Iranians, lying bloody; being carried by their friends and relatives and my thoughts and prayers go to these young freedom fighters.
I ask myself, Why is it that one small group of people who are in control of a larger group, always seem to resort to violence to keep that control?
And I think of how sometimes, I take the precious gift of our freedom for granted.
The rain outside my window suddenly seemed less dreary;
the clouds seemed less grey.
In comparison to what was happening half the world away I feel embarrassed by my own selfishness and self centeredness.
I am brought back to the early 1960’s with JFK as our president when I was a naïve, idealistic pre-teen.
The way I felt about our great country was to be challenged when that great man fell.
With each shameful act of violence to keep control, my idealism faded and my cynicism grew.
Robert Kennedy,Martin Luther King,
It seemed as soon as there was someone to believe in, someone else was there who didn’t believe and resorted to violence to stop any new hope.
Again, my hope returned with the promise of the Clinton administration,
only to be disappointed by the man himself, but not his message.
Now I am sitting at my same old kitchen table,
watching my same old TV and trying to write in my book,
but I am witness to an amazing change in a country thousands of miles away
that will not allow me to do anything but sit and watch change, in action.
This change for freedom is being accomplished by the voice of the Iranian people and I am brought to the recent change in our country.
Our change was peaceful, organized and a polar shift from the previous administration, with no violence.
How great is this country?
And I am once again an idealist no longer naïve; too much life experience in these 59 year old bones, hardened by too many “What could have been’s”.
But here I am again,
Mr. Idealist and proud to be one.
Now, always the optimist, even when I have been disappointed so often, I look at the TV and think of the “What If’s”.
I think back to the time, seven months ago on Election Day 2008 (Another memory that will always remain with me).
10 pm watching MSNBC and thinking
“He might actually do it! Obama may be the first African American president of the United States of America”.
I remember thinking that this man, may be “The One…”
The one that Kennedy could have been, given the chance.
But, Obama is different than all the rest or at least it feels that way to me… This time I don’t think I will be disappointed.
I gave myself the audacity to think... “What if”.
And at 11pm when Keith Obermann said
“MSNBC now projects that Barack Obama IS the next president of the US”, with my jaw agape and a tear in my eye, I thought “What if?”
What if he can change the view the world has of my country?
What if he can bring us together?
What if this was just the beginning of the changes?
"What If" there is the same change in Iran?
And now I am sitting at the same old table…
In the same chair…
Watching the same TV… on the same channel,
But the world could be very different tomorrow…
What if we could actually have World Peace, for our children?!
This is certainly an amazing time to be alive on this planet.
It has been raining now for three straight weeks in a row and it feels like three months in a row. I feel like a moldy wet rag and I can’t wait to see blue sky and the sun again.
My wife is at work and I have the house to myself.
I have been struggling with a two-month-old writers block, but I have recently been feeling the urge (need) to write.
So here I sit, at my kitchen, looking out into the wet, grey sky. Feeling blah…
I have my laptop on the table, open to my book,
“Spiritual Evolution- A Journey from Atheism to Spirituality”…
I notice that for whatever reason, I am distracted.
I have the TV on CNN and I am engrossed by what I am seeing.
Iran… What had been the “Axis of Evil” ...our enemy…
Is in the midst of another revolution.
The first thirty years ago was bad for the US but worse for the world.
Religious extremism of any type… Muslim, Christian, Jew is simply wrong.
Now images of young Iranians putting their lives at risk in support of their freedom are on CNN and I can’t break away.
I see the bodies of young Iranians, lying bloody; being carried by their friends and relatives and my thoughts and prayers go to these young freedom fighters.
I ask myself, Why is it that one small group of people who are in control of a larger group, always seem to resort to violence to keep that control?
And I think of how sometimes, I take the precious gift of our freedom for granted.
The rain outside my window suddenly seemed less dreary;
the clouds seemed less grey.
In comparison to what was happening half the world away I feel embarrassed by my own selfishness and self centeredness.
I am brought back to the early 1960’s with JFK as our president when I was a naïve, idealistic pre-teen.
The way I felt about our great country was to be challenged when that great man fell.
With each shameful act of violence to keep control, my idealism faded and my cynicism grew.
Robert Kennedy,Martin Luther King,
It seemed as soon as there was someone to believe in, someone else was there who didn’t believe and resorted to violence to stop any new hope.
Again, my hope returned with the promise of the Clinton administration,
only to be disappointed by the man himself, but not his message.
Now I am sitting at my same old kitchen table,
watching my same old TV and trying to write in my book,
but I am witness to an amazing change in a country thousands of miles away
that will not allow me to do anything but sit and watch change, in action.
This change for freedom is being accomplished by the voice of the Iranian people and I am brought to the recent change in our country.
Our change was peaceful, organized and a polar shift from the previous administration, with no violence.
How great is this country?
And I am once again an idealist no longer naïve; too much life experience in these 59 year old bones, hardened by too many “What could have been’s”.
But here I am again,
Mr. Idealist and proud to be one.
Now, always the optimist, even when I have been disappointed so often, I look at the TV and think of the “What If’s”.
I think back to the time, seven months ago on Election Day 2008 (Another memory that will always remain with me).
10 pm watching MSNBC and thinking
“He might actually do it! Obama may be the first African American president of the United States of America”.
I remember thinking that this man, may be “The One…”
The one that Kennedy could have been, given the chance.
But, Obama is different than all the rest or at least it feels that way to me… This time I don’t think I will be disappointed.
I gave myself the audacity to think... “What if”.
And at 11pm when Keith Obermann said
“MSNBC now projects that Barack Obama IS the next president of the US”, with my jaw agape and a tear in my eye, I thought “What if?”
What if he can change the view the world has of my country?
What if he can bring us together?
What if this was just the beginning of the changes?
"What If" there is the same change in Iran?
And now I am sitting at the same old table…
In the same chair…
Watching the same TV… on the same channel,
But the world could be very different tomorrow…
What if we could actually have World Peace, for our children?!
This is certainly an amazing time to be alive on this planet.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
PHOBIAS from A to Z - Part 3
Synopsis;
In this, the third posting on Phobias, I write about how hypnosis can help with the removal of phobias; the hypnotic method I use to control and eliminate phobias and a case study of a client who had a lifelong fear of the water but no longer has Hydrophobia - Fear of water.
How hypnosis helps
There are many “tools” a hypnotherapist has at his disposal. I tend to combine different tools to make the most effective therapy for each client.
No two people are the same, so through combining different proven therapies and techniques, I offer each client an individualized plan of action; this is at the core of “Transpersonal Hypnotherapy”.
I have found that the most powerful and effective method of eliminating phobias is to combine two different hypnotic techniques; “Parts Therapy” and “Regression Therapy”.
Parts Therapy, is a technique developed in the 1950’s by Charles Tebbetts, a hypnotherapist who found that you can have a dialog with a “Part” of a person’s subconscious.
Regression Therapy is a hypnotic technique used to have a person go back in time to where the fear started.
Combining the two works very effectively to find the memory that caused the phobia and then with other therapies, eliminate the fear and give back control to the person.
Under hypnosis, a person with a phobia is directed to a comfortable place and given the suggestion that they are safe and have survived whatever caused the fear.
Once I determine the source of the phobia and more importantly the person remembers what had been a repressed memory, the power and fear the memory had had is greatly diminished.
Case Study on Hydrophobia - Sue
This is a case study of a young woman who was able to overcome her lifelong fear of the water with one hypnosis session.
Sue (not her real name) called, asking about the effectiveness of hypnosis for stopping a phobia of water. She described her fear as “not afraid of showers, but I never take a bath!” Her voice shook as she even mentioned a bath.
She continued describing how she never goes in a pool or the beach, that she can’t swim and was deathly afraid of being on a boat.
We made an appointment for the following Monday. It would be our first and only session.
At the beginning of her session, she relayed how the phobia was being controlled by avoiding the places where she would be around water.
She relayed to me that she is a single mother of a nine year old boy.
She is engaged to a wonderful man who loves her and her son.
Her fiancée wants to marry her and adopt her son.
She described a perfect relationship and then informed me of the majorly huge hurdle in her life.
“He has a house on Lake Hopatcong, with a dock and a speed boat” she said as if telling me he had a terminal disease.
“He loves his boat! He is on the lake every weekend and all summer long!
His friends, who I love, all have boats!
Our whole social life is on the water!
My son loves being there with him and he wants me to go out so badly, but as soon as I step foot on the dock, I start to shake!
Once he actually had to carry me off the dock!
PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!”
I told her that hypnosis can help.
Fortunately, she was an excellent hypnotic subject, who went almost immediately into a very deep state of hypnosis.
As I described earlier, I brought out her “fearful part” and had that part of her “Regress” - go back in time to the very first time she was aware of her hydrophobia.
Without going into great detail, I had her go to a time when she wasn’t afraid of water and then “Progressed” her to a time when she was fearful.
As I observed her, a memory reflected through the expression on her face.
“I was 9 years old…” she said in a faint whisper.
“My parents wanted me to learn how to swim, so we went to the lake (Hopatcong) and they hired a lifeguard to teach me…”
“Oh my God, I see it all so clearly…” she said, her eyes closed, yet I could see her eyes moving left and right.
“We went into the water which was up to my neck. The lifeguard held me so I was on my stomach. He told me to breathe when he said I should and he held my face in the water and turned my head up yelling
‘BREATH!...
HOLD!...
BREATH!’
He kept holding my head underwater, pulling me out only when I was choking!...”
Whispering, “I never remembered that until this very moment”, tears streaming down her face.
I then did some hypnotic techniques called “Reframing” where she gained back the control that had been taken from her.
After the session, she thanked me and I told her the only way she will know for sure that she is phobia free is to test herself on the boat. She agreed, with the comment, I'll call you for another appointment if it doesn't work.
That weekend my phone rang and it was Sue, she was on her cell phone.
There was a lot of noise in the background.
“Garry?” she said.
“I wanted to thank you for saving my life!”
I think she was exaggerating, but the feeling you get when you realize a joy-draining phobia is eliminated can make a person exaggerate a little.
“I am calling from the boat!"
"Me and my new family we are on the lake! I can’t believe it… It is so much fun! Thank you so much!”
If you are plagued by a phobia, you don’t have to deal with it, you can eliminate it and realize how much better your life can be phobia-free!
In this, the third posting on Phobias, I write about how hypnosis can help with the removal of phobias; the hypnotic method I use to control and eliminate phobias and a case study of a client who had a lifelong fear of the water but no longer has Hydrophobia - Fear of water.
How hypnosis helps
There are many “tools” a hypnotherapist has at his disposal. I tend to combine different tools to make the most effective therapy for each client.
No two people are the same, so through combining different proven therapies and techniques, I offer each client an individualized plan of action; this is at the core of “Transpersonal Hypnotherapy”.
I have found that the most powerful and effective method of eliminating phobias is to combine two different hypnotic techniques; “Parts Therapy” and “Regression Therapy”.
Parts Therapy, is a technique developed in the 1950’s by Charles Tebbetts, a hypnotherapist who found that you can have a dialog with a “Part” of a person’s subconscious.
Regression Therapy is a hypnotic technique used to have a person go back in time to where the fear started.
Combining the two works very effectively to find the memory that caused the phobia and then with other therapies, eliminate the fear and give back control to the person.
Under hypnosis, a person with a phobia is directed to a comfortable place and given the suggestion that they are safe and have survived whatever caused the fear.
Once I determine the source of the phobia and more importantly the person remembers what had been a repressed memory, the power and fear the memory had had is greatly diminished.
Case Study on Hydrophobia - Sue
This is a case study of a young woman who was able to overcome her lifelong fear of the water with one hypnosis session.
Sue (not her real name) called, asking about the effectiveness of hypnosis for stopping a phobia of water. She described her fear as “not afraid of showers, but I never take a bath!” Her voice shook as she even mentioned a bath.
She continued describing how she never goes in a pool or the beach, that she can’t swim and was deathly afraid of being on a boat.
We made an appointment for the following Monday. It would be our first and only session.
At the beginning of her session, she relayed how the phobia was being controlled by avoiding the places where she would be around water.
“I have been able to deal really well with the fear, I just don’t go in a pool, a lake, the beach or the ocean. I take showers instead of a bath. I never put myself in a situation when I would take a cruise or be on the water. So I felt that I didn’t need any help, I dealt with the fear by avoiding water and I was fine. But I now have a major problem and it will ruin my life if I can’t fix it.”
She relayed to me that she is a single mother of a nine year old boy.
She is engaged to a wonderful man who loves her and her son.
Her fiancée wants to marry her and adopt her son.
She described a perfect relationship and then informed me of the majorly huge hurdle in her life.
“He has a house on Lake Hopatcong, with a dock and a speed boat” she said as if telling me he had a terminal disease.
“He loves his boat! He is on the lake every weekend and all summer long!
His friends, who I love, all have boats!
Our whole social life is on the water!
My son loves being there with him and he wants me to go out so badly, but as soon as I step foot on the dock, I start to shake!
Once he actually had to carry me off the dock!
PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!”
I told her that hypnosis can help.
Fortunately, she was an excellent hypnotic subject, who went almost immediately into a very deep state of hypnosis.
As I described earlier, I brought out her “fearful part” and had that part of her “Regress” - go back in time to the very first time she was aware of her hydrophobia.
Without going into great detail, I had her go to a time when she wasn’t afraid of water and then “Progressed” her to a time when she was fearful.
As I observed her, a memory reflected through the expression on her face.
“I was 9 years old…” she said in a faint whisper.
“My parents wanted me to learn how to swim, so we went to the lake (Hopatcong) and they hired a lifeguard to teach me…”
“Oh my God, I see it all so clearly…” she said, her eyes closed, yet I could see her eyes moving left and right.
“We went into the water which was up to my neck. The lifeguard held me so I was on my stomach. He told me to breathe when he said I should and he held my face in the water and turned my head up yelling
‘BREATH!...
HOLD!...
BREATH!’
He kept holding my head underwater, pulling me out only when I was choking!...”
Whispering, “I never remembered that until this very moment”, tears streaming down her face.
I then did some hypnotic techniques called “Reframing” where she gained back the control that had been taken from her.
After the session, she thanked me and I told her the only way she will know for sure that she is phobia free is to test herself on the boat. She agreed, with the comment, I'll call you for another appointment if it doesn't work.
That weekend my phone rang and it was Sue, she was on her cell phone.
There was a lot of noise in the background.
“Garry?” she said.
“I wanted to thank you for saving my life!”
I think she was exaggerating, but the feeling you get when you realize a joy-draining phobia is eliminated can make a person exaggerate a little.
“I am calling from the boat!"
"Me and my new family we are on the lake! I can’t believe it… It is so much fun! Thank you so much!”
If you are plagued by a phobia, you don’t have to deal with it, you can eliminate it and realize how much better your life can be phobia-free!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
PHOBIAS from A to Z - Part 2
Synopsis; In this, the second posting on Phobias, I write about how the natural process of the primitive part of the brain contributes to the acquisition of phobias; how phobias form; the hypnotic method I use to control and eliminate phobias.
In the last posting “Phobias from A to Z – Part 1”, I describe how the primitive brain effects the “Fight or Flight” instinct.
In the cave man example, you can see how, because it was so necessary to react instantly to perceived threats, the functioning of the primitive brain was essential for survival of the human race.
Keep in mind, that the cause (the killing of a clan member) of the Fight or Flight instinct would be repressed.
The horror of witnessing the killing of a loved one would be blocked from the awareness of the young clan member by their subconscious.
However, the reaction to seeing a jaguar (the symbol of the horror) would result in an immediate, critical and unthinking response.
You may say that the young clan member had a phobia of jaguars.
In modern society, the threat to your survival is much more complex than those of ancient times. Say what you will, the society we live in today is obviously more civil than that of primitive times. The human brain has also advanced, but still, at its’ core is the same primitive brain stem that helped our ancient ancestors to survive and become the modern day human being.
Our subconscious has many functions, not all are yet known to us. It is a protector, a servant, and the storehouse of knowledge, memories, emotions, habits and much more.
Referring again, to the caveman analogy from Part 1, you can see why the function of repressing the horrific memory, while automatically causing a fight or flight reaction, was critical to survival.
However, in a society where we are not threatened with life or death on a daily basis, the function that was essential to the survival of a primitive man is now, in a modern society, contributing to the manifestation of so many phobias.
How do phobias form?
Generally speaking, phobias can form in two ways.
In an adult, a phobia can form after a severe traumatic experience, such as a plane crash or a life threatening accident. In a traumatic experience, you can understand how a phobia could start. These phobias are usually temporary and fade with time.
Phobias formed in childhood are much more common and devastating.
When a child, between two and seven is witness to a traumatic experience (or a perceived traumatic experience) their primitive brain stem reacts the same as a primitive man; repressing the specific memory and triggering the “Fight or Flight Response”.
The memory of the traumatic incident is buried or repressed, again, by the subconscious, but the reaction to seeing the symbol of the trauma is reacted to in the same way our ancestors did.
Each time the repressed memory is stirred, whether by seeing or experiencing something that would stir that memory, the phobic reaction is stirred.
The reaction stirred by these repressed memories present themselves as phobias, each time the repressed memory is stimulated.
The phobic person will feel a variety of emotions, from mild discomfort to a full-blown panic attack.
Phobic Commonalities
a quote from Phil, a Police Captain with a severe public speaking phobia.
One common feeling many people with phobias have is the lack of knowledge or understanding of where and why they have their particular phobia.
Many people, who have had hypnotic intervention for the relief of a phobia, have told me that they remembered how and why the phobia began, only after being hypnotized.
The Self-Fulfilling Prophesy of a phobia.
a quote from Mary, a 47 year old who had a fear of chocking her whole life.
Very often sufferers of phobias will actually predict an attack happening.
This self-fulfilling prophesy aspect of phobias are common to all phobias.
Unfortunately, when you allow a thought to come into your mind, it is an exercise in futility to get it out. When you anticipate it happening it will happen.
The Anticipatory Anxiety factor; the third commonality…
a quote from Karen, a 50 year old hairstylist with a fear of birds.
The fear of the phobia becomes worse than the fear itself. When a phobia is so ingrained, a person has no joy in their life because it (the phobia) is all they think of.
When you are in the midst of a phobic attack, you feel that you are alone in your fear and there is nothing that you can do!
It controls you and you are powerless to take that control back.
It takes on a presence of its own. All too often, people who have phobias will try to simply, avoid any chance of being where their phobia may be activated.
If you have a fear of birds, like Karen, you stay indoors.
If, like Phil, you have a public speaking phobia, you would never put yourself in a position to be speaking in front of a crowd.
However, what if you must deal with a phobia?
You can go to “Talk Therapy”, where you can discuss where and when it started and if you find the cause, you can find closure and cure.
You may learn coping strategies to “live with” the phobia.
However, if the function of the subconscious is the protector that will block the painful memory that causes the phobia AND is the store room for all your memories, it becomes quite difficult to determine where and when it started.
The place, the subconscious, which has the information for you to understand why you have a phobia, is the same place that is designed to keep that information from you.
I call this a phobic’s “Catch-22” and it is no joking matter.
I combine two hypnosis processes for the elimination of phobias. Combining Parts Therapy with Regression Therapy, works very powerfully to allow the sufferer of a phobia, get their life back.
In the next posting, titled “Phobias A to Z - Part 3” I will describe how hypnosis helps a phobic person eliminate the phobia and describe a case study about Sue, a single mom with a lifelong phobia of water- hydrophobia.
Feel free to make a comment on y blog, I will be happy to post it.
In the last posting “Phobias from A to Z – Part 1”, I describe how the primitive brain effects the “Fight or Flight” instinct.
In the cave man example, you can see how, because it was so necessary to react instantly to perceived threats, the functioning of the primitive brain was essential for survival of the human race.
Keep in mind, that the cause (the killing of a clan member) of the Fight or Flight instinct would be repressed.
The horror of witnessing the killing of a loved one would be blocked from the awareness of the young clan member by their subconscious.
However, the reaction to seeing a jaguar (the symbol of the horror) would result in an immediate, critical and unthinking response.
You may say that the young clan member had a phobia of jaguars.
In modern society, the threat to your survival is much more complex than those of ancient times. Say what you will, the society we live in today is obviously more civil than that of primitive times. The human brain has also advanced, but still, at its’ core is the same primitive brain stem that helped our ancient ancestors to survive and become the modern day human being.
Our subconscious has many functions, not all are yet known to us. It is a protector, a servant, and the storehouse of knowledge, memories, emotions, habits and much more.
Referring again, to the caveman analogy from Part 1, you can see why the function of repressing the horrific memory, while automatically causing a fight or flight reaction, was critical to survival.
However, in a society where we are not threatened with life or death on a daily basis, the function that was essential to the survival of a primitive man is now, in a modern society, contributing to the manifestation of so many phobias.
How do phobias form?
Generally speaking, phobias can form in two ways.
In an adult, a phobia can form after a severe traumatic experience, such as a plane crash or a life threatening accident. In a traumatic experience, you can understand how a phobia could start. These phobias are usually temporary and fade with time.
Phobias formed in childhood are much more common and devastating.
When a child, between two and seven is witness to a traumatic experience (or a perceived traumatic experience) their primitive brain stem reacts the same as a primitive man; repressing the specific memory and triggering the “Fight or Flight Response”.
The memory of the traumatic incident is buried or repressed, again, by the subconscious, but the reaction to seeing the symbol of the trauma is reacted to in the same way our ancestors did.
Each time the repressed memory is stirred, whether by seeing or experiencing something that would stir that memory, the phobic reaction is stirred.
The reaction stirred by these repressed memories present themselves as phobias, each time the repressed memory is stimulated.
The phobic person will feel a variety of emotions, from mild discomfort to a full-blown panic attack.
Phobic Commonalities
“…I always had the fear of public speaking. Every time I needed to speak in front of people, my face would get red hot, I’d sweat… my voice would shake, I couldn’t breath. I assumed that I had ALWAYS been that way. I didn’t know any different. Then when I was hypnotized, the memory of my 2nd grade class came to me, my teacher and the kids in the class laughing at me; it all came back… I finally remembered and understood why I had the phobia. And it stopped! I couldn’t and still can’t believe it, but it worked!...”
a quote from Phil, a Police Captain with a severe public speaking phobia.
One common feeling many people with phobias have is the lack of knowledge or understanding of where and why they have their particular phobia.
Many people, who have had hypnotic intervention for the relief of a phobia, have told me that they remembered how and why the phobia began, only after being hypnotized.
The Self-Fulfilling Prophesy of a phobia.
“…Sometimes I think I will get an attack, and it happens, I’ll be fine until the
thought of chocking comes into my mind and then it happens…”,
a quote from Mary, a 47 year old who had a fear of chocking her whole life.
Very often sufferers of phobias will actually predict an attack happening.
This self-fulfilling prophesy aspect of phobias are common to all phobias.
Unfortunately, when you allow a thought to come into your mind, it is an exercise in futility to get it out. When you anticipate it happening it will happen.
The Anticipatory Anxiety factor; the third commonality…
“… I live with the phobia, I stay inside, but I also live with the fear of when it will happen; it can be worse than the fear itself… I live 24-7 with either the fear of seeing a bird or the fear of the phobia of seeing a bird”,
a quote from Karen, a 50 year old hairstylist with a fear of birds.
The fear of the phobia becomes worse than the fear itself. When a phobia is so ingrained, a person has no joy in their life because it (the phobia) is all they think of.
When you are in the midst of a phobic attack, you feel that you are alone in your fear and there is nothing that you can do!
It controls you and you are powerless to take that control back.
It takes on a presence of its own. All too often, people who have phobias will try to simply, avoid any chance of being where their phobia may be activated.
If you have a fear of birds, like Karen, you stay indoors.
If, like Phil, you have a public speaking phobia, you would never put yourself in a position to be speaking in front of a crowd.
However, what if you must deal with a phobia?
You can go to “Talk Therapy”, where you can discuss where and when it started and if you find the cause, you can find closure and cure.
You may learn coping strategies to “live with” the phobia.
However, if the function of the subconscious is the protector that will block the painful memory that causes the phobia AND is the store room for all your memories, it becomes quite difficult to determine where and when it started.
The place, the subconscious, which has the information for you to understand why you have a phobia, is the same place that is designed to keep that information from you.
I call this a phobic’s “Catch-22” and it is no joking matter.
I combine two hypnosis processes for the elimination of phobias. Combining Parts Therapy with Regression Therapy, works very powerfully to allow the sufferer of a phobia, get their life back.
In the next posting, titled “Phobias A to Z - Part 3” I will describe how hypnosis helps a phobic person eliminate the phobia and describe a case study about Sue, a single mom with a lifelong phobia of water- hydrophobia.
Feel free to make a comment on y blog, I will be happy to post it.
Friday, April 10, 2009
PHOBIAS from A to Z - Part 1
Synopsis;
In this posting I cover the subject of phobias. There is a listing of many phobias in alphabetical order and a lighthearted and serious view of phobias. I also give definitions of phobias, the brain the functioning of the sub-conscious and its effect on the conscious mind and how the brain forms phobias.
Phobias from A to Z
Fears and phobias have been with us since we first walked the planet.
They have been the subject of stories around a campfire, of books, of short stories, movies, radio shows, television and more.
As you can see from the following list, there are hundreds of phobias;
some seem understandable like Lilapsophobia – the fear of tornadoes;
some seem silly like Dendrophobia – the fear of trees;
some seem obvious like Aichmophobia – the fear of needles;
some seem bizarre like Octophobia – the fear of the number 8;
some seem strange like Barophobia – the fear of gravity;
some seem exhausting like Somniphobia – the fear of sleep;
some seem redundant like Phobophobia – the fear of phobias;
some make sense like Atychiphobia – the fear of failure
and
some seem common, like the number 1 phobia in the world...
Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
Below is an alphabetical listing of just some phobias…
Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.
Acrophobia - Fear of heights.
Agliophobia - Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces or crowds.
Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
Androphobia - Fear of men.
Anginophobia - Fear of angina or choking.
Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers.
Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society.
Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.
Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers.
Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightening.
Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.
Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.
Autophobia - Fear of being alone.
Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria.
Barophobia - Fear of gravity.
Bathmophobia - Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians.
Belonephobia - Fear of pins and needles.
Bibliophobia - Fear of books.
Botanophobia - Fear of plants.
Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed.
Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.
Chionophobia - Fear of snow.
Chromophobia - Fear of colors.
Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.
Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.
Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.
Cyberphobia - Fear of computers.
Cynophobia - Fear of dogs.
Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.
Dentophobia - Fear of dentists.
Domatophobia - Fear of houses.
Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents.
Ecophobia - Fear of the home.
Elurophobia - Fear of cats.
Entomophobia - Fear of insects.
Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.
Equinophobia - Fear of horses.
Gamophobia - Fear of marriage.
Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
Gynophobia - Fear of women.
Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.
Hemophobia - Fear of blood.
Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles.
Hydrophobia - Fear of water.
Iatrophobia - Fear of doctors.
Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.
Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.
Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth.
Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking.
Megalophobia - Fear of large things.
Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
Microphobia - Fear of small things.
Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs.
Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things.
Noctiphobia - Fear of the night.
Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals.
Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight.
Octophobia - Fear of the number 8.
Ombrophobia - Fear of rain.
Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.
Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.
Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.
Pathophobia - Fear of disease.
Pedophobia - Fear of children.
Philophobia - Fear of love.
Phobophobia - Fear of phobias.
Podophobia - Fear of feet.
Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.
Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns.
Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying.
Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.
Scolionophobia - Fear of school.
Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.
Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation.
Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.
Tachophobia - Fear of speed.
Technophobia - Fear of technology.
Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.
Trypanophobia - Fear of injections.
Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women.
Verminophobia - Fear of germs.
Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft.
Xenophobia - Fear of strangers or foreigners.
Zoophobia - Fear of animals.
The one thing that all phobias have in common, (actually, there are many more than “one thing”) is that they are no laughing matter for the millions of people who suffer from them.
A phobia that may seem silly or insignificant to you may be ruining the life of its victim.
People who suffer from phobias are in a constant state of apprehension and fear.
They are haunted by their fear both day and night,
by what is causing it;
by when it will happen again;
if they will ever be able to control it;
will they be embarrassed by their phobic attack?
Their lives are controlled by their particular phobia
and they are helpless to control their fears
and because they are helpless, they become hopeless.
Fortunately, I have found a very effective tool to help people with phobias gain control over their fears
and with this control, comes hope and finally a life free from debilitating fear.
The tool I am referring to is Hypnosis;
specifically PARTS Therapy.
Started in the 1950’s by Charles Tebbetts, this therapy goes directly to the “part” of the subconscious where the phobia resides, or more accurately…hides.
In order to understand and overcome the debilitating effects of a phobia, we first must thoroughly understand exactly what a phobia is, how it works from the subconscious and how it was formed.
Then, armed with that understanding a person with a phobia has the tools to overcome it;
to live a happier, normal fear-free life.
So…
“What is a Phobia?”
“Medline Plus” describes a phobia as
OK…
We can (and I have) researched the heck out of phobias, but I can never find in my research, where they come from…
How and why they form…
Through working with many people with phobias,
I have found my own method of helping phobic people
and it doesn’t include months and months of talking sessions.
If you have no idea where it came from, what is the point of talking about phobias endlessly?
I feel it only strengthens its hold over you.
As I have described in other posts, the subconscious is the servant to the conscious mind, but by some of the complications it causes, you may disagree with that statement.
Picture this…
You are a caveman,
living a hunter/ gatherer existence.
You are primitive, living with your clan
and you are also hunted by other larger predators.
In order to survive, you must react instantly to a perceived threat.
But how do you instantly react?
Your primitive brain comes into play with the “Fight or Flight” instinct.
But it is not a true instinct, it must be learned…
So, there you are in the forest,
with your clan,
hunting rabbits,
picking vegetables etc.
You are 5 years old walking behind your mother.
Suddenly a large Jaguar leaps on your older brother,
dragging him screaming, bleeding and dying into the bush!
Your tribe instantly reacts!
The men throw their weapons!
The women grab you and the other small ones and run!
The image is burned into your mind, permanently!
To survive, they reacted instantly…
Fought and Fled and survived.
But, so that you never remember the horror of seeing the death of your brother,
your subconscious mind repressed and blocked the image of the scene from your conscious awareness.
You can’t recall your brother’s death,
but to survive,
it also lets the emotions of the event react in your mind,
each and every time the image of a Jaguar comes to you.
When seeing a Jaguar, from that moment on, you would either fight or flee,
without thought…
reaction MUST be immediate, without thought…
to survive.
So when a Jaguar is seen,
you like all your clan, react immediately almost instinctively,
but you will never remember why you react the way you do;
and you and your clan… survive.
This response is hard wired in our brains right now, from our distant past,
but… what was a survival mechanism then, is now causing phobias.
Webliography
Google
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/phobias.html
Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phobia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_brain
In my next posting titled “Phobias A to Z - Part 2”
I will be describing how this survival mechanism from our past, causes our phobias; how phobias are formed; and commonalities between many phobias.
Please feel free to make comments.
In this posting I cover the subject of phobias. There is a listing of many phobias in alphabetical order and a lighthearted and serious view of phobias. I also give definitions of phobias, the brain the functioning of the sub-conscious and its effect on the conscious mind and how the brain forms phobias.
Phobias from A to Z
Fears and phobias have been with us since we first walked the planet.
They have been the subject of stories around a campfire, of books, of short stories, movies, radio shows, television and more.
As you can see from the following list, there are hundreds of phobias;
some seem understandable like Lilapsophobia – the fear of tornadoes;
some seem silly like Dendrophobia – the fear of trees;
some seem obvious like Aichmophobia – the fear of needles;
some seem bizarre like Octophobia – the fear of the number 8;
some seem strange like Barophobia – the fear of gravity;
some seem exhausting like Somniphobia – the fear of sleep;
some seem redundant like Phobophobia – the fear of phobias;
some make sense like Atychiphobia – the fear of failure
and
some seem common, like the number 1 phobia in the world...
Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
Below is an alphabetical listing of just some phobias…
Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.
Acrophobia - Fear of heights.
Agliophobia - Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces or crowds.
Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
Androphobia - Fear of men.
Anginophobia - Fear of angina or choking.
Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers.
Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society.
Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.
Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers.
Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightening.
Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.
Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.
Autophobia - Fear of being alone.
Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria.
Barophobia - Fear of gravity.
Bathmophobia - Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians.
Belonephobia - Fear of pins and needles.
Bibliophobia - Fear of books.
Botanophobia - Fear of plants.
Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed.
Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.
Chionophobia - Fear of snow.
Chromophobia - Fear of colors.
Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.
Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.
Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.
Cyberphobia - Fear of computers.
Cynophobia - Fear of dogs.
Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.
Dentophobia - Fear of dentists.
Domatophobia - Fear of houses.
Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents.
Ecophobia - Fear of the home.
Elurophobia - Fear of cats.
Entomophobia - Fear of insects.
Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.
Equinophobia - Fear of horses.
Gamophobia - Fear of marriage.
Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
Gynophobia - Fear of women.
Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.
Hemophobia - Fear of blood.
Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles.
Hydrophobia - Fear of water.
Iatrophobia - Fear of doctors.
Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.
Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.
Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth.
Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking.
Megalophobia - Fear of large things.
Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
Microphobia - Fear of small things.
Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs.
Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things.
Noctiphobia - Fear of the night.
Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals.
Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight.
Octophobia - Fear of the number 8.
Ombrophobia - Fear of rain.
Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.
Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.
Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.
Pathophobia - Fear of disease.
Pedophobia - Fear of children.
Philophobia - Fear of love.
Phobophobia - Fear of phobias.
Podophobia - Fear of feet.
Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.
Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns.
Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying.
Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.
Scolionophobia - Fear of school.
Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.
Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation.
Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.
Tachophobia - Fear of speed.
Technophobia - Fear of technology.
Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.
Trypanophobia - Fear of injections.
Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women.
Verminophobia - Fear of germs.
Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft.
Xenophobia - Fear of strangers or foreigners.
Zoophobia - Fear of animals.
The one thing that all phobias have in common, (actually, there are many more than “one thing”) is that they are no laughing matter for the millions of people who suffer from them.
A phobia that may seem silly or insignificant to you may be ruining the life of its victim.
People who suffer from phobias are in a constant state of apprehension and fear.
They are haunted by their fear both day and night,
by what is causing it;
by when it will happen again;
if they will ever be able to control it;
will they be embarrassed by their phobic attack?
Their lives are controlled by their particular phobia
and they are helpless to control their fears
and because they are helpless, they become hopeless.
Fortunately, I have found a very effective tool to help people with phobias gain control over their fears
and with this control, comes hope and finally a life free from debilitating fear.
The tool I am referring to is Hypnosis;
specifically PARTS Therapy.
Started in the 1950’s by Charles Tebbetts, this therapy goes directly to the “part” of the subconscious where the phobia resides, or more accurately…hides.
In order to understand and overcome the debilitating effects of a phobia, we first must thoroughly understand exactly what a phobia is, how it works from the subconscious and how it was formed.
Then, armed with that understanding a person with a phobia has the tools to overcome it;
to live a happier, normal fear-free life.
So…
“What is a Phobia?”
“Medline Plus” describes a phobia as
Wikipedia has a longer description and describes a phobia as“…a type of anxiety disorder. It is a strong, irrational fear of something that poses little or no actual danger. There are many specific phobias. Acrophobia is a fear of heights. You may be able to ski the world's tallest mountains but be unable to go above the 5th floor of an office building. Agoraphobia is a fear of public places, and claustrophobia is a fear of closed-in places. If you become anxious and extremely self-conscious in everyday social situations, you could have a social phobia. Other common phobias involve tunnels, highway driving, water, flying, animals and blood...”
“…a morbid fear; an irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain situations,The brain is the physical home of the conscious and subconscious…
activities, things, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject. When the fear is beyond one's control, or if the fear is interfering with daily life it is considered a phobia… "
"...Phobias (in the clinical meaning of the term) are the most common form of anxiety disorders. An American study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) found that between 8.7% and 18.1% of Americans suffer from phobias. Broken down by age and gender, the study found that phobias were the most common mental illness among women in all age groups and the second most common illness among men older than 25...”
"...Most psychologists and psychiatrists classify phobias into three categories:
Social phobia,
also known as social anxiety disorder - fears involving other people or social situations such as performance anxiety or fears of embarrassment by scrutiny of others, such as eating in public. Social phobia may be further subdivided into generalized social phobia, and specific social phobia, which are cases of anxiety triggered only in specific situations.
Specific phobias -
fear of a single specific panic trigger such as spiders, snakes, dogs, elevators, water,
waves, flying, balloons, catching a specific illness, etc.
Agoraphobia -
a generalized fear of leaving home or a small familiar 'safe' area, and of possible panic attacks that might follow.,,"
The human brain is the center of the human nervous system and is a highly complex organ. It has the same general structure as the brains of other mammals, but is over five times as large as the "average brain" of a mammal with the same body size. Most of the expansion comes from the cerebral cortex, a convoluted layer of neural tissue that covers the surface of the forebrain. Especially expanded are the frontal lobes, which are involved in executive functions such as self-control, planning, reasoning, and abstract thought. The portion of the brain devoted to vision is also greatly
enlarged in humans.
OK…
We can (and I have) researched the heck out of phobias, but I can never find in my research, where they come from…
How and why they form…
Through working with many people with phobias,
I have found my own method of helping phobic people
and it doesn’t include months and months of talking sessions.
If you have no idea where it came from, what is the point of talking about phobias endlessly?
I feel it only strengthens its hold over you.
As I have described in other posts, the subconscious is the servant to the conscious mind, but by some of the complications it causes, you may disagree with that statement.
Picture this…
You are a caveman,
living a hunter/ gatherer existence.
You are primitive, living with your clan
and you are also hunted by other larger predators.
In order to survive, you must react instantly to a perceived threat.
But how do you instantly react?
Your primitive brain comes into play with the “Fight or Flight” instinct.
But it is not a true instinct, it must be learned…
So, there you are in the forest,
with your clan,
hunting rabbits,
picking vegetables etc.
You are 5 years old walking behind your mother.
Suddenly a large Jaguar leaps on your older brother,
dragging him screaming, bleeding and dying into the bush!
Your tribe instantly reacts!
The men throw their weapons!
The women grab you and the other small ones and run!
The image is burned into your mind, permanently!
To survive, they reacted instantly…
Fought and Fled and survived.
But, so that you never remember the horror of seeing the death of your brother,
your subconscious mind repressed and blocked the image of the scene from your conscious awareness.
You can’t recall your brother’s death,
but to survive,
it also lets the emotions of the event react in your mind,
each and every time the image of a Jaguar comes to you.
When seeing a Jaguar, from that moment on, you would either fight or flee,
without thought…
reaction MUST be immediate, without thought…
to survive.
So when a Jaguar is seen,
you like all your clan, react immediately almost instinctively,
but you will never remember why you react the way you do;
and you and your clan… survive.
This response is hard wired in our brains right now, from our distant past,
but… what was a survival mechanism then, is now causing phobias.
Webliography
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/phobias.html
Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phobia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_brain
In my next posting titled “Phobias A to Z - Part 2”
I will be describing how this survival mechanism from our past, causes our phobias; how phobias are formed; and commonalities between many phobias.
Please feel free to make comments.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
