An Educational Testimonial

I work with Carole and have known her for over 20 years. She came to my “Introduction to Hypnosis Workshop” just for the experience and then asked me for a Mediumship reading. She sent the following Email to me. I think it is a great description about a person’s FIRST experience with Hypnosis AND Mediumship. Although it is a long email, if you are curious about the effect of hypnosis or Mediumship, it is worth the time to read it.

 Carol's Testimonial

I attended Garry's Hypnosis Workshop in October of 2013 it was the first time in my life that I went to any type of workshop like that. Now I am a person who would NEVER BELIEVE THAT THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME. I would see it on TV and say it was "FIXED". So I told Garry that a friend of mine and I would attend but I really didn't believe that I could be hypnotized. I didn't know what to expect or what would happen. I said to myself that I'll just go and see what happens.  Garry stood in front of the group of people and talked about hypnosis and other things and told all of us what we needed to do which was basically just to relax, listen to the music and to him talking. I was in a room with total strangers and a friend that I grew up with. He explained what we would feel and to just go with it.  I was thinking "NO WAY IS THIS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME... NO WAY!!!!

As he was talking to us, it was so strange that everything he said I would feel, I DID! I couldn't believe I was really hypnotized, I thought, "anybody but me!" At the end of that first hypnosis experience, he said that if we wanted to open our eyes to do so. But I didn't want to, it felt so nice! During the second hypnosis experience, he told us to put our arms straight out, close our eyes and imagine one hand holding heavy books and the other holding a bunch of colorful balloons. What totally blew my mind was that I actually felt and saw them! I was like "OMG this is unreal".

When Garry said we can all open our eyes truthfully I didn't want to, but did.  After the session was over I was like "WAS I REALLY UNDER?", "DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN?"  Well I know it did cause, man! did I feel and see things that I never would have guessed I would.  GUESS WHAT I NOW KNOW? I have no doubt about hypnosis or if I can be hypnotized. IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE. If you have a chance to be hypnotized, jump at it!

Garry is a teacher (in more ways than one way) we both work in the same school and I have known him for over 20 years. The experience at his workshop got us talking a lot about all that hypnosis stuff. And as if that alone wasn't enough to blow my mind, what happened later REALLY blew my mind!!! I read on his website that he is not only a hypnotherapist but a  psychic Medium. Which is so weird, because I just starting to watch "Long Island Medium" with Teresa Caputo! I just got a reading from Garry that really got me in believe in Mediumship. I used to think there's no way possible for something like this to be true or to happen. I again sat patiently wondering how this was going to turn out.

After school, Garry was able to sit with me and he said that he was "aware of" 2 men, he stated one had cancer and some type of issues with his stomach, had chemo, something about having breathing problems and one was in his late 50's and one in his late 70's  when they passed. I thought one was my Uncle and the second was my Cousin, my Uncle was in the 80's and my Cousin was 60 when he died. Although my cousin was not my uncle's son, he was his nephew, but my Uncle raised him as his son. I told Garry that it all made sense to me and who they were. Garry said that my Uncle stated he also had eye issues which was definitely my Uncle 'cause he did have glaucoma. Garry told that he was feeling his right arm was weak and shaky and that my Uncle said he had all his faculties back which was so wonderful to hear because he had a stroke 26 years ago during a surgery which caused damage on his right side and he had a brace on his leg and walked with a cane. As Garry was communicating with them he said these men were on my Mom's side of the family and they were!

Garry said the younger one had chemo to treat a cancer and that again I was able to take as my Cousin who had colon cancer. He was receiving chemo for a long time period! I was amazed that they were there. I never had a reading before and I couldn't believe it. At one point Garry said that the both of them were talking to him at the same time and I was taking one piece for one and a different piece of information for the other.  So, Garry stopped and asked them to separate and talk to him "one at a time"! The amazing thing was that when they were alive, they were always together just like that! Even finishing each other's sentences! So it made perfect sense to me that he had problems separating him, we ALL did, always!

When they separated, my uncle came through stronger, telling Garry of his concerns about his son having health issues.  He told Garry that he was concerned about his Diabetes. I couldn't understand that because as far as I knew my cousin didn't have diabetes although he was always heavy.  He also said to tell my cousin (his son) to "Get off his ass and get movin'". I laughed so hard, and told Garry that was the way he would always get his point across to my cousin, in just that loud way, Garry even had his tone of voice, Amazing! Garry said that my Uncle had 2 children; 1 male and 1 female and 2 grandchildren, also 1 male and 1 female. Amazing! Right again! How does he know this?? Garry couldn't understand the name he was trying to get across; he said it sounded like "Hel" something. Helen was my Uncle's sister name, my Mom, his sister Helen... OMG!!! Then if all that wasn't enough, Garry said that he has a third man coming thru who wanted me to know that he was doing well, was happy and at rest. Garry had communicated with my father before and said it was him and that he; my dad wanted my Uncle and Cousin to come through, because he knew I would love to hear from them... Isn't that crazy?!

Now these 3 men, My Uncle, Cousin and Dad, loved to have a fun time, sing, play cards and play out to make people laugh they were always a hit at any party. Garry also mentioned about their passing being close to each other. He stated 3 years and that's exactly what it was. My Dad was a different time but mainly the two that came through first, passed within a year of each other, 3 years ago!

So after the session was over I was like wow the 2 people I would never have thought would come thru to me, did. My Uncle who was also my Godfather was always there for me no matter what and was like a dad for me after my Dad passed away. I left with such a nice warm feeling to know they were ok and that they were still together.

When I got home and I just couldn't wait to call my Cousin's wife and tell her what I just heard. I knew she would love to talk to me about my experience, as she always wondered if she would get the chance to go to a medium. I asked her if my cousin had diabetes.  At first she asked how I knew about the diabetes, that no one in the family knew that he was recently diagnosed but yes that he's got diabetes and he does have weight issues and that they were looking into joining a gym because they felt that he needed to take care of his health. When I told her that that's what was told to me by my Uncle, her father-in-law, thru Garry she was totally amazed. Then she validated that my Uncle was always on her husband's case that he needed to get up and about. She told me that my Uncle said to his son you need to get "Off your ass" and do something and that is exactly what Garry said to me. I said to her that that's the way he used to talk! My cousin's wife totally agreed "Yep that's exactly what he would say and my husband!" When I told her about how Garry stated that my Uncle was up and about moving around that he has everything back and that he's happy, well she couldn't get over it. She couldn't wait to tell this to her husband and that she will let me know what he says.

The next day, Garry came into my office to see me about something and we of course started to talk about Mediumship. As we were discussing it, he went to give me an example of how it works with a name and he used the name "Gertrude" as an example, just throwing it out there. I looked at him and said, "Garry what made you say that name out of all the names that are out there?!! Garry said that Gertrude just popped in his head. Well, Gertrude was my Uncle's daughter! He was still here! Another OMG!! Because he is a teacher, he loves to explain how "it" works. For whatever reason he was using cars as an example of how he connects with spirits and brought up a 55 Plymouth Belvidere!, as another example. I almost fell out of my chair! I said "Garry, NOW...WHAT MADE YOU SAY A PLYMOUTH BELVIDERE, out of all the cars that have ever been made?" and he said that someone just told him to say it, why? I said cause that's the car my Dad had and it was his treasure! He took such good care of it! He cleaned it to the Max. Then Garry proceeded to tell me what the inside of the car looked like and he was exactly right! He proved to me that my Dad is STILL with me even after all these years.  It just blew me away.  It's just amazing how something like this happens.

I'm so looking forward to another session with Garry. I have my Cousin's wife coming to a workshop , she stated "Garry hit everything you said right on the head; like straight out of my Uncle's mouth to you/us" I couldn't agree anymore.

Garry thanks for what I learned from all this and I'm so looking forward to what can be told to me by them again. Hopefully, the next time the women will come through. Garry, it's amazing how the people in our lives come back in ways we could never think of.

Carole

I'm BAAAACK!

Synopsis;
In this brief posting, I apologize for being away for so long and update you on what has been happening during this past year

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned...
it’s been a year since my last Blog entry…”
and I have no one to blame except me and my laziness…
shame on me.

Although I could blame my laziness on my very busy schedule,
I really need to get back into the habit and discipline of writing every day.

Since I last did an entry, when I was planning on finishing my book and
although I did work on it over the summer,
I am still only 75% done and again,
I plan on finishing it soon or at least before I retire from teaching in 4 years..

Between teaching, hypnotizing, being a Psychic/ Medium and
the responsibilities that come with being a husband, father and grandfather,
the last thing on my prioritized “to do list” is the gym and writing…
OK who am I fooling,
the last thing IS writing.

Whether in my blog or my book, once I am done with all the “Have to do’s”, the “wanna do’s” like writing just don’t seem to get done.
But that will change;
that must change.

So that’s why this entry is titled “ I baaaack”.
Maybe by saying it I will be back…
writing again.

It is a great release.
Sooo…
This past year has been very busy and
quite interesting metaphysically speaking…

- Last summer I spent a weekend at The Omega Institute for Holistic Studies,
working with James Van Praagh.
That was my next to last blog entry.
This summer I will be back at Omega and work with James again for a week!
I am most definitely looking forward to it.

- I have taken classes with 4 different teachers of Metaphysics from
Arthur Findlay College in England.
Bet you never knew that there is an actual college in England
for Psychic/ Mediumship along with many other Metaphysical areas of study.
Actually the college is what the school in the Harry Potter series was based on! If you are interested, check their website at http://www.arthurfindlaycollege.org/
- I was asked along with about 20 other Psychic Mediums
to join a class taught by Janet Nohavec,
at her church to improve and hone our P/M abilities.
Janet is not only a world renowned Psychic Medium,
she is a true teacher in every sense of the word.
By that I mean, she is surely NOT doing it for the money
(all “true” teachers will attest to that, money is not the motivating factor in teaching, the motivating factor is the advancement and growth of your students.)
Janet teaches her students because she is driven to produce better evidential mediums; people who can prove to the public that we never truly die.
To prove to a cynical public that our consciousness is eternal
and after our bodies die, our consciousness is still “alive”
and aware of our loved ones who are still here.
An evidential Medium’s purpose is to assist the spirit in communicating with their loved ones on Earth and to prove to those loved ones that those who have passed away are truly still here.
Services at the Journey Within Church start at 10am.
Check out the services page on Janet’s website http://www.journeywithin.org/services.htm
I am proud and honored to be invited by Janet to “read” at the
“Sunday Night Student Church Service” this Sunday evening June 5th at 6:00pm.
I will let you know what it was like.

- I am doing many more “readings”. With each reading I learn more of how our loved ones in spirit communicate.
- I started a psychic circle that is still going strong

As the title “Spiritual Evolution - A Journey from Atheism to Spirituality” of my book implies, we are all on a journey and I will keep you informed of what I am learning along mine.
Until the next time…
This Journey continues.

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Lose - Part 2

Synopsis;
this is the second of a 2 part article (please excuse the length) about how you can learn from losing, often learning more than from winning.
I describe my experiences at my weekend workshop with James Van Praagh http://www.vanpraagh.com/ and the lessons I learned.

So, after that reading (from Part 1),
I was wondering why I do Psychic/ Mediumship (P/M) readings at all;
I was that upset.
I considered taking down all my blog postings on P/M,
taking all references to P/M from my website and just give up.
I went home that night ready to cancel my weekend at Omega
and take down my P/M shingle for good.


I was that miserable.

Fortunately, I spoke with my friend Sylvia (an excellent Psychic/Medium),
who helped me tremendously.
he said, “Garry, picture a balance scale,
measuring all the readings you have ever done …
on one side sits all the good ones and the other all the bad ones.
What would this balance scale look like?”

As that image formed in my mind,
I saw the scale overwhelmingly heavy with good readings
and only a handful of bad ones.
I not only saw the good readings,
but the faces of the sitters who were so happy with their readings;
how their energy changed after their reading;
how light and good I felt after giving them messages
from their loved ones in spirit
and how I was aware of a feeling of appreciation and gratitude
from spirit, after a good reading
(I plan on expanding on this feeling of gratitude
from spirit in a future posting, suffice to say, we [P/M’s] work
for those in spirit more than for the sitters who pay us).


That conversation was just what I needed
to get me off the floor and back in the game.
Sometimes it seems to be necessary to get shot down occasionally
so that you know how to get up, brush yourself off and keep on keep’n on!
I thanked her for showing me this simple metaphor
and I realized that I had allowed these two sitters
to so negativity influence me that
I wanted to quit this work that I love to do.
I also realized that my ego was hurt and that was why I felt like quitting…
It hurts when your self-image is attacked.

After a good night’s sleep, I woke up and in the shower,
I washed off the negative energy that I absorbed the night before
and looked forward to the coming weekend
at Omega in Rhinebeck NY,
where I would learn from James Van Praagh himself.

I also planned to relay this experience
(of a reading where the sitter would not take anything I offered)
to him for advice;
I was not disappointed.

On Friday July 16, 2010,
I arrived at Omega at 6:30pm after a drive from hell,
287 North was closed for emergency repair;
one lane open and a 3 hour ride took 6 hours,
but the frustration vanished
with the smiles of the young people working at Omega.


If you get a chance to take a workshop there, you really should,
it will be worth your time.

After settling into my room,
I walked into James’ Friday night introductions.
We had about 125 people there
and we were all anticipating a great weekend.
James began by answering the questions of the participants
and I was able to ask him the question
that was praying on my mind from that Monday’s reading.

He had two helpers
running back and forth handing microphones to the questioners.
“James, I had a reading this past Monday”,
I said as the microphone was handed to me.
With a big broad smile, he said to wait for the microphone
so everyone can hear, as I continued…

“I was giving a reading to a woman and her 30ish year old son…”
I relayed how no matter what I said; no matter how strongly
I knew I had a good link with the spirit of their husband/father
they refused to accept anything.


His answer to me was understandable and simple,
but his follow up about the ego was profound and worth relaying.
He said that all you can do as a Medium
is to give the information that you are receiving
from a spirit to the sitter the best you can
and if your intention is coming from a place of love;
you are doing this work for all the right reasons;
your heart is in the right place
but your sitter is too closed off to accept it
or if they come to the reading with preconceived ideas
or if they want to hear from only a specific spirit
and not the one that is there,
there is nothing anyone can do.

I understood and accepted his rather basic response, but he continued…
“Sometimes”, he said,
“your ego gets in the way and you get upset because
the person you are working with doesn’t understand
that you are a wonderful P/M;
you are a loving individual
who is doing this work for all the right reasons;
they don’t see the work you are putting in
or the energy it takes to do this work…
They don’t know that you were a boy scout
and that you love puppy dogs
and you go to church every Sunday…

They misjudge you…

He then said something worth repeating…
often…

“What people think about you…” he said
“Is none of YOUR business!”

Now re-read that statement,
because it is simple, true
and is something a lot of us would disagree with.

It’s none of your business what people think of you!
Wow another Life’s Lesson!

Saturday at James’ workshop
was a great learning experience
and I met some great people and new friends.


I met Jali on Saturday morning and
we hit it off as if we knew each other for years (lifetimes?).

She is an amazing psychic medium from Maryland
her website is
http://www.psychicphotoreading.com/
we did a few psychic exercises together
and I was impressed with her dead – on (no pun intended) readings.


She was kind enough to send me a bunch of photos
and I will attempt to paste them onto this posting
(using my extremely limited computer expertise).

The photo below was by far the most interesting.
James did only one reading the entire weekend,
letting the participants gain a lot of
practical experience as opposed to
watching a pro (James) in action (doing a bunch of readings).


Jali emailed a photo of that reading,
when James was reading the energy of a spirit
for a young woman in the audience.
I’ll attach it below but the amazing thing was
that out of all the photos,
only this one when James was reading had some interesting…
well…
observers for lack of a better description.

No other photos I saw from that weekend had orbs like these in them…
I count 8!

On Sunday before we finished at 12 noon,
James said that he would be bringing up some of us
to “read” for the audience.
Talk about pressure!
Reading a group of Mediums
with James Van Praagh sitting behind you
and he is NOT an easy teacher.

He said from the start that he was going to push us
right out of our comfort zones,
and he did just that!

At first only one person raised their hand.
James said “Good!”,
that he had seen her work and that he would help her.

She came up and did he ever push her!
He was helping her refine
the information she was getting,
but by the time the reading was through,
she was exhausted
and I saw a lot of hands
that had been waving to get a chance to read,
quickly go down and some hands were being sat on!

I was torn between wanting to challenge myself
and embarrassing myself.
I knew that the challenge to do the work
was coming from my “higher self”; my sub-conscious P/M self
and the part of me that was afraid
that I would embarrass myself
was most definitely coming from my ego.

One of the important lessons James taught us
that weekend was the detrimental effect
of listening to your ego
over your intuitive (psychic) self.

I wanted to challenge myself
and decided to ignore my ego
although with that decision,
my ego got louder…
until…
I “felt” the presence of an older man in spirit
touch my arm.

As James was choosing who would be next to read,
my hand had a mind of its own!
It shot straight up
waving like one of my students
in High School
who had to really,
really go to the bathroom.

I felt as if the spirit of this older man
was standing behind controlling my hand!
But I truly wanted to challenge myself for a number of reasons.

First, I felt very comfortable
that I had a strong connection
with this man and after all is said and done,
we Mediums work for them.
If he needed this message to get to someone in the audience,
I felt it would be my honor, duty and pleasure to bring his message through.

Secondly, this was a place
and time where we were all supporting each other
and there were a lot of egos outside,
banging on the windows and doors,
mine included and
I made sure I had left my ego outside
with my flip-flops.

I was ready to do this.

Now, James had called up three other people
and my hand was shooting up
when each one finished
and I honestly felt that I was not going to be picked
and then the strangest thing happened…

I “threw it up to the Universe”
I said in my head to whoever was listening,
my spirit guides;
my higher self;
the spirit of the old man;
God…
“If I am going to do this work
and the time is right, it will work out.”
I felt a sense of calmness wash over me and I heard…
“You’ll be the last one up!”
I don’t know who it was,
but I heard it as clear as day…

“Calm yourself…”

“Prepare yourself…”

“You Will be the last one up…”

The calmness I felt continued…
James announced that he had a plane to catch
and that he had to leave at 12 sharp,
so he could only do a total of five readings
and picked the 4th reader…

I felt I would be next;
no fear;
no apprehension;
no doubt!

When the 4th reader stepped off the stage,
handing James the microphone,
James had his back to me,
looking at a sea of hands all wanting to be the last to read.

This memory will always stay with me.
He turned around, microphone in hand,
pointed it at me and asked if I wanted to read!

I can’t describe what went through my mind in one millisecond!

Yes!...
Hell Yeah! I want to read!
OMG! It really worked,
I asked spirit to help and they did exactly what I asked for!

They said I would be last and I am the last reader!

OK mister, ghost guy…I am all ears, talk to me.
Who do you want to connect with?
What relationship did you have with the person in the audience?
How did you die?
Give me more information…

Then another voice said…
“Holy crap you better do this right
this is THE James Van Praagh!
You better not screw this up,
like you did Monday!”

and I knew Mr. Ego was back in the house!

In my mind I pictured standing up facing my arch nemesis,
grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and his belt,
kicking the door open,
throwing him out the doorway
like John Wayne in every western he ever made…
and then hearing from the PA system…
in the voice of James Van Praagh himself…
“Garry’s Mr. Ego has just left the building!”
…and good riddance.

The reading went great!
I went up on stage
and sat in a chair
with James sitting behind me to my left.
He prompted me to calm myself…
to breathe deeply…
to allow an image to form…

“I have an older man here”, I started…
“Good”, said James, “describe him!”

“He is telling me that he drank and
that is what contributed to his death;
he is a father to a man who is not here,
but his wife is…
This is a woman’s father in law…
He was an educated man,
a professional, doctor, or lawyer...
A tough demanding father…
showed no love to his son.. your husband.. ”

I continued with some more evidence
with James giving me hints as what to ask him,
how to phrase my questions.

I felt that James knew exactly who it was I was connected to.

Finally two women raised their hands claiming this man may be for them,
one in the front of the group
and one in the back.

With some more evidence,
we were able to narrow it down
to the woman in the back of the room,
who was able to accept everything that was coming though.

Then it was time for the all important message,
which was short and powerful.
He wanted me to relate
that he was so very proud of his son,
that he was never able to show his pride
for his son while he was alive.

He was incapable of showing love
and alcohol only made his aloofness
all the more hardened and at times violent.

He said that he was asking for forgiveness from the whole family;
that this was the first time he was able to get through to anyone;
that he had been so difficult to live with that in spirit,
his whole family refused to hear him
as he tried from spirit
to communicate and to apologize to them.

But they heard now!
Through the openness of his daughter-in-law,
the message would finally be delivered to his son,
with the additional sweetness
of saying that his son
is a better person, man and father
than he had ever been
and he can finally relay to his son
through his son’s wife
that he is proud of the man he had become
and that he truly does love him.

There were few dry eyes,
including mine when this man had finished allowing me to help him get his message out.

I will always remember that weekend at Omega and the many life lessons I learned there.

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Lose - Part 1

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Lose - Part 1

Synopsis;
This is a 2 part article about how you can learn from losing,
often learning more than from winning.

On Monday July 12, 2010, I had a Psychic/ Mediumship
reading scheduled for a woman and her son.
It was the Monday before my weekend workshop
with James Van Praagh at Omega
and I was excited about the weekend
and looked forward to doing this reading,
just as I look forward to every reading I do.

I view doing a “reading” with a combination of emotions;
from anticipation of the unknown
to dread of being inaccurate in the reading;
from the satisfaction of having people walk away from my office
happier than they were when they came in;
to the satisfaction of knowing that the work a Medium does,
is for those who are in spirit, more than those
who are still here on the earth plane.

This is how I looked forward to this reading.
I wanted to do the very best I could
for both the sitters (the mother and her son)
and for their deceased loved ones.

I have learned from years of classes and readings
that one of the biggest obstacles to a great reading is your own ego.
I learned that weekend from James Van Praagh
that EGO is an acronym for “Edging Out God”.

A new Medium is always concerned if the
images, thoughts, symbols, etc.
that they receive are from “the source”
or from their own mind or imagination.

I refer to this as the “From Me/ To Me” dilemma.
It is usually an ego conflict;
“Will I look stupid?”,
“Am I making this stuff up?”

These internal questions fade with experience and confidence.

The experience of doing more readings,
reinforces the perceptions a psychic has
as to where the information he is getting, comes from;

either from his own mind or imagination
which is in no way psychic at all
and is purely guessing, also known as “Cold Reading”;

or

the sitter (the person being read);
their mind, energy or aura which is the definition of a psychic reading;

or

from the energy of a spirit’s consciousness
which is the definition of a Psychic/Mediumship reading.

As a psychic does more and more readings,
he learns to distinguish between the “From Me / To ME” dilemma
and soon only focuses on the “To Me”
and can detach from the ego driven “From Me” thoughts.

With that distinction, he begins to gain the confidence he will need to do accurate readings.

I have witnessed incredibly gifted Mediums like
John Edward, John Holland and James Van Praagh,
stick to their guns, so to speak,
and refuse to be shaken by the denial of a sitter
to accept the information being offered.

At a demonstration of his Mediumship
with an audience of over 1000 people,
I saw John Edward stand his ground for a half hour,
until the light went on over the person’s head
and the sitter was finally able to accept
everything that John offered to him.

A novice would fold at the first “no”;
or at the first arm crossing over the chest
and the negative head shake
that we have all been aware of when being “dismissed”.

This situation is devastating to a psychic Medium
and was what happened on that Monday in July.

Unfortunately I don’t have the confidence of a John Edward.

Although I felt confident that the information I was receiving
was from a spirit that needed to communicate
to this woman and her 35 year old son.

They both just sat there,
arms folded
and even though I was giving them images that they could accept,
they acted very aloof;
no big deal about the information they were getting.
Almost every piece of evidence
I brought up was minimized and discarded.

They even said things like “Yeah, everybody has a dog!”
At one point, as I was giving the son
some additional evidence, when he said
“Yeah… So… I have a lot of friends who died on a motorcycle who also had lung cancer…
we all smoke”, shrugging and looking at his watch while rolling his eyes.

I was giving them the best I could do but they were totally unsatisfied.

Then I made a real mistake, I read them for another hour and a half!
because I truly wanted to work for their loved ones,
even though they refused to accept anything I was saying.

After a marathon 2.5 hour session, they left.

They did pay for the service… $100

That evening I received a very long email from the mother,
saying how they felt ripped off by my reading and
she went as far as saying that I was a fraud.

My reply to her diatribe was to simply
ask her for her mailing address and sent her a refund,
with a note saying that
I hoped that at least she no longer felt “ripped-off”.

Part 2 will be posted next week and
I will describe some of my weekend experiences
at Omega with James Van Praagh and
what I learned from this very uncomfortable reading.

New Years and Eating

I am a big believer in the work of Edgar Cayce.
If you don’t know who he is, please Google him, it will be worth the effort.

Although I am a hypnotherapist, the one area that I could use some help with, is my own weight management.
I tell my clients, “do as I say, not as I do” and like all of us know,
that is the worst thing to say to someone.

I also don’t believe in coincidence, so I received some advise recently from different sources that I want to share with you.

The first came from The A.R.E. (http://www.edgarcayce.org) an organization based on Cayce’s life’s work.

Look over this reading that Cayce gave to a person who had a severe weight issue. You may have to re-read it a few times to see the truth in those words.

Edgar Cayce Reading 911-7

With the arising of rebellious forces . . . the body has assumed the attitude:
"I will break over this time, and the next time I won't.
I will eat this because it pleases me at the present.
I will take this, for I don't want to suffer right now, and next time I won't."
This has been done until self loses such holds on self as to become in a manner the slave to self's own indulgences, in mental, physical and material things!

These conditions, then, require that there be made by self a definite stand to be taken; that is:
"If there is given me a definite program to follow
I will… I will…I will adhere to it,
no matter what I may suffer mentally or physically!
I will trust in the divine forces innate . . .
within my inner self for the strength to endure,
for the ability to say “NO” when I should!"

This next advice I received was from a friend of mine who is in AA.
When talking about the stress in our lives, I laughed and admitted that I deal with my stress by eating.
He said that he had dealt with stress by abusing alcohol, but thankfully no longer
and a simple part of a prayer helped immensely.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to Accept the things I cannot change.

The Courage to change the things I can;

and Wisdom to know the difference.

This short and sweet prayer says it all.

The Third piece of advice came to me by a hypnotherapist and I want to share it with you.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS ANYONE CAN KEEP
By: Ann Catherine Pawelczyk, C.Ht.

How do we help clients make a fresh start in 2009?
By showing them how to make "resolutions" they can keep!
Too often individuals on the path to self-improvement begin the
New Year with high-resolve and even higher standards that for the most part,
are darn near impossible to keep.

With human nature, when we set the bar high for ourselves-
and end up failing, (as we see as professionals in the self-improvement business all the time) -
what we're doing is actually keeping the cycle of negative reinforcement in action.

Negative reinforcement is a sure fire way to avoid reaching goals,
but it's a nasty habit many of us find ourselves holding onto and "unable" to release.

The way to ANY positive, lasting change is to set reasonable standards that are
flexible, and what we need to be flexible is a series of small manageable steps.
(I can hear you groaning already, but please, bear with me!)

Here's the key to lasting positive change:
When we start out small,
whatever changes we want to make have a much better chance of being integrated slowly and permanently into our lifestyles.

This is a concept we need to emphasize with our clients.

Then...we need to share the following with those we work with:
The barrier that keeps us from making changes in a "good" way is the fact we
often think the little steps aren't "enough".
So...we go for the gusto...and fail.

Hey - Rome wasn't built in a day, right?

Practice and Share these no-fail resolutions

• ANYONE can keep & get moving on the good path:
• LOVE yourself more this year than last year;
• FORGIVE yourself for any areas you've been "stuck" in the past;
• Be healthier by focusing on better balance instead of frequent fad DIETS;
• Be more ACTIVE by doing fun things out-of-doors and bond with nature;
• Re-member or discover something you love to DO;
• Create daily affirmations and USE them to reshape your mindset;
• Work to TRANSFORM one area of life from now through December;
• Instead of seeing what's "wrong" with your life, focus on what's RIGHT;
• VOLUNTEER your time to good causes;
• SAVE as little as $5 per week and reserve it only for something fun;
• Make it a point to GET TOGETHER with friends or family one night a month;
• Clear the CLUTTER and go one space at a time;
• Take each DAY as it comes;
• LAUGH more, LOVE more, and make it a point to complain LESS.
  
  The more realistic we make goals, the easier it is to obtain success,
  which IS the positive reinforcement that enables us to achieve.
  Try something new this year with yourself and with clients:
  
  Make a list of 5 things you'd like to improve this year in order of importance.
  Once you have your list,
  break each individual thing down into the smallest possible steps
  and get started.
  Enjoy your success!
  

Remember - action follows thought so be sure to keep your thoughts positive for an unimaginably great outcome in any area!

Unfortunately, we all become experts in making New Year’s Resolutions
that are the same year after year.

Let’s try looking at them in a new way, so that we have brand new – New Year Resolutions
next year, with the feeling of success for those we set for ourselves this year.

Jack and Anger Management - Part 3

Synopsis,
In my posting titled “Anger Management and the Adolescent Child” http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2008/08/anger-management-article.html
I introduced you to Jack. A fourteen year old adopted young man with many emotional problems, not the least of which, was the inability to management his anger.
In “Jack and Anger Management- Part 2” I described our last two sessions and my concern that I was not finding much success in trying to show Jack a better way to control his anger.
In this, the third posting, I describe how I changed my approach to help Jack in controlling his anger and why I went from directing him to accept his anger to using forgiveness to allow him to control and hopefully eliminate his anger.
I describe how, psychically I gained insight into what to do in Jack’s session.
I also found a new appreciation for the power of forgiveness.

From Part 2;

"… Jack looked up and nodded in agreement, in a way that I knew,
he agreed with my assessment of the situation.
I continued,
“Jack… Do you think that your mother would ever reject you?
Now don’t answer right away…
think about it…”
Without a second’s hesitation, he looked up at me,
then to Diane, shaking his head, saying strongly…
“NO! She wouldn’t”
“Your father?” I asked.
This time he hesitated a second, mulled over the question,
took a deep breath and said truthfully and definitively…
“No, he wouldn’t reject me either.”
“Do you absolutely believe that?” I asked
“You are not just saying that… It is what you truly believe?
Your parents WOULD NOT… EVER REJECT YOU?... Right?”
He quietly nodded “yes”
“If you believe that, then, do you know how much it hurt these two people”
referring to his parents “to hear those words from your mouth?”
As he looked up at them, tears were starting to form in his eyes
(along with his father’s, his mother’s and mine)"

“Jack and Anger Management – Part 3

I decided at that point,
I had to change the direction I was taking with Jack’s therapy.
But, how was I going to be able to get through to this young man?
How was I going to get him to understand and believe
that more than accepting his anger, he needed to get past his anger?
If he allowed his anger to fester like an infection of the soul,
he would never know true happiness.

He now has the opportunity with his adoptive parents, who love him,
accept him unconditionally and will never reject him,
to know what the love of a real family is.
His anger was blocking him from growing.

If he was unable to get past his anger at the world,
I knew he would be stuck in this angry stage for his entire life.
Unfortunately, we all know people like that;
angry at the world for pain suffered in their youth.
These people may never know happiness and
I would hate to see Jack turn into one of those sad and angry men.

As I have told you in many other postings,
being a psychic/medium has a lot of advantages.

When I communicate with spirit,
I don’t ask who is communicating with me;
I just appreciate the connection and listen to it.
It doesn’t matter if the information that is coming to me
is from a father in spirit that wants to help his child
or a spirit guide that needs to redirect their “student” in the physical world
or if it is my “Hypnotherapist Guide”,
who I ask for help from constantly and who has never failed me;
when I get information from that part of my mind I accept it unconditionally.

So when I knew I was in for a complex and complicated hypnotherapy session
with Jack and his family,
I asked my Hypnotherapist “Spirit” Guide,
to give me a little help with this one… and, as usual, he came through.

As Jack and I went into my room where I do the actual hypnotherapy sessions,
I felt Jack’s pain and frustration
caused by his inability to control that irrational angry part of him.
He sat in the recliner as he had so many times before.
He has become one of those perfect hypnotic subjects,
and went quickly, almost instantly, into “Somnambulism”
(the most productive state of hypnosis that you can be in).
As I usually do, I helped Jack go deeper into hypnosis
by putting on some new age-y type music.

I said to myself
“OK, now how are you going to proceed?”

When I felt a chill, up and down my arms;
to me that is the unmistakable feeling of contact with a spirit.

If I were doing a psychic/medium session,
I would have expected this feeling and would ask this spirit to come closer
so I could get validations and messages.
But this connection was unexpected and
Jack was absolutely not interested in any messages from dead people
from his past that he would probably be angry with anyway!

Also I was getting a different “vibe” from this spirit,
it was not connecting with Jack,
it was connecting with me, giving me messages;
messages of how to get through to Jack.
I had been questioning to myself,
as to how I was going to facilitate this change in his perception
from being the perpetual victim;
always the one being abandoned;
always feeling rejection, even when there was no rejection,
to a person who could forgive, and get on with his life.

“Change his perceptions and you change his view of his life”,
I wasn’t sure where that came from.
A cynic would say it came simply from
my experience as a hypnotherapist and from working with Jack,
but I felt differently.
Perhaps a spirit from his family did give me insight;
perhaps my Hypnotherapist Guide…
But who gave me that insight was totally unimportant,
the message and insight they gave me was!

“Change his perceptions and you change his view of his life!”

OK I got it… thanks, whoever you are.

At the same instant, a thought came to me that if his mother had kept him,
he would have never known this loving couple who truly are “his parents”.
I realized (or was shown) that if his birth mother had kept him,
with what little we know about her,
his life could have been considerably worse;
possibly eating out of trash containers,
living on the street,
being subjected to drug users or worse.

My feelings towards this young mother instantly changed.
Instead of anger towards her for abandoning her son,
I felt an overwhelming feeling of sympathy and sadness for her.

Instead of the cold hearted, drug addicted tramp, who abandoned her child,
coldly walking away from him,

I saw her as a young girl,
in over her head, in a life that she could not deal with herself,
not to mention trying to raise a child.
Her decision to give Jack up for adoption was not a selfish decision;
it was a heart-wrenchingly difficult decision that took three years to make.

Once she realized that for Jack’s own good,
for his health,
for his future, which she could not provide for him,
the decision to give him up was the only one she had.

And it was harder for her than Jack could have ever imagined.

She did not abandon him; she gave her precious son away for his own good although she cries herself to sleep even now!

If in my eyes, I could make a shift like that, what would happen to Jack’s attitude,
if he no longer looked at himself as a victim, abandoned by everyone who was supposed to be there for him?

If I could help Jack fundamentally change his self image and his view of the people in his life, there wouldn’t be a need to control his anger, there would not be this overwhelming irrational anger there to control!

The anger may just be gone with this change of perception.

If he could only accept that he was loved and cherished and given away because his mother was convinced that it was the only choice she had and she had agonized over the decision for three years, he might just forgive her.

And if he could forgive his birth mother, would he be able to forgive the rest?

If the first family that adopted Jack, only to send him back to foster care, had kept him, he would have grown up in a family that could or would not have shown him the attention, love and caring he needed.
If that first adoptive couple had “kept” him, he never would have met and been adopted by this loving and supportive couple who became his REAL parents.

That first adoptive family, in fact, like his mother knew he would be better without them.
If he could see that first couple for the realists that they were instead of the selfish self-centered people he had viewed them as, forgiveness would be possible there too.

The plan came to me in a second;
I knew exactly how to proceed.
I thanked my hypnosis guide and continued.

Jack was already in a very deep state of hypnosis.
At this point, he is so good at going into the “altered state”, as we call it,
I simply say, “Ready?”
he nods,
I say “SLEEP!”
and he is there, in deep hypnosis.
I take no credit for it, I don’t think of what a great hypnotist I am, I simply acknowledge that the more often you hypnotize someone, the easier it is to hypnotize them again.

The session worked great.
I asked his angry part to come out and speak with me, which it did often and easily.

His Angry part stated that although he knew he was wrong in saying those hurtful things to his father and it was sorry for saying them, it cannot apologize and can’t forgive.

I asked his Angry part why he can’t forgive and it said
“No one loves Jack, they all reject him, if he forgives, he’ll only be hurt again, they don’t care about anyone except themselves…”

I asked him to go back to the time he was three, his mother had him by the hand and walked him to the door of the foster care facility.
He agreed and as he sat visualizing the scene, I saw he was getting angrier.

I asked him to look at his birth mother and describe her.
“She’s angry,
she’s ugly,
she has hard eyes,
she is pulling me by my arm,
she shakes me and says to stay,
she rings the bell,
the door opens,
she turns away,
she doesn’t say goodbye,
she doesn’t kiss me,
she turns,
she walks away…
I never see her again”
All this said with an undertone of anger, teeth clenched his brow deeply furrowed.

After some relaxation techniques, I asked him to picture what happened from a different angle… From his mother’s angle…
he was initially resistant.
I explained that there are two sides to every story and this may be his mother’s version…

“She is crying,
she has tried for three years to provide for her son,
she lost her job,
she is going to lose her apartment,
she has no husband to help her,
decisions she made in her life were very wrong
but she knows that is not Jack’s fault, she realizes he didn’t ask to be born,
she takes responsibility,
she finally realizes that she cannot keep Jack and she goes to the foster care agency.

She walks to the house and can’t look at Jack,
her heart is breaking,
she doesn’t want Jack to see her cry so she turns her head away from him,
Jack is three…
a baby…
he doesn’t know what is going on…
She rings the bell,
her hands are shaking,
she considers picking up her baby and running, but to where?
The door opens,
she turns and takes a step away,
her heart feels so heavy she thinks she is going to die and she walks away,
she turns the corner,
her legs give way,
she falls to the ground,

she cries until there are no more tears left to shed…

This process is called “Reframing” where you actually change the perception of the memory.
It doesn’t change history, he was put up for adoption and he was adopted and then returned, he was rejected, but now his view of the villains in these memories changed.

No longer villains, they were victims also.
I found a new appreciation for reframing a person’s perceptions.
I also found a new appreciation for the power of forgiveness.

After the session was over, he seemed like a different boy.
He was smiling and happy.
His parents, who had just seen their son angry and hostile, were surprised to see him in such a happy mood so quickly.

I don't know what will happen with Jack.
I hope that between his loving family, his intelligence, his emotional growth, and continued counseling, he will learn how to forgive and to trust people again.
I do know that it has been a learning and growing experience not just for Jack and his family, but for me also.
It has also been an experience that I will remember and cherish;
being part of the evolution of this young man’s life.
After all, that is why we are all here on this planet...
to learn and grow.

Jack and Anger Management - Part 2

Synopsis,
This posting is a follow-up to a previous article titled “Anger Management and the Adolescent Child”.
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2008/08/anger-management-article.html
In this, Part 2, I review what has happened since Jack’s initial sessions and the two most recent sessions. I describe why I realized I had to change my approach to help Jack with his anger management issues. In Part 3, I describe how I went from directing him to accept his anger to using forgiveness to allow him to control and hopefully eliminate his anger.

In my posting titled “Anger Management and the Adolescent Child”
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2008/08/anger-management-article.html
I introduced you to Jack. A fourteen and a half year old, adopted young man with many emotional problems, not the least was the inability to manage his anger.
I have seen Jack ten times since then and he is now almost 16 (“15 and ¾” according to Jack).

His anger has continued to cause major complications and problems in his life, his parent’s lives and the lives of those around him.

Our last session was in late October 2009, when we had what I feel was a major breakthrough.
I made a decision to change the direction I was taking with Jack in his attempt to understand, accept and control his anger. This decision to change my approach with Jack actually started in late August, when I received an email from his mother and I knew without speaking on the phone, that Jack and his parents were having a very bad time.

I scheduled our session for mid September 2009, right after the start of the 2009/10 school year. At that session, I found out the Jack had been having many uncontrollable fits of rage.

His mother, Diane told me on the phone, that while on vacation in August to the Grand Canyon, with the family, he had a meltdown; cursing, screaming and was totally out of control.
Jack’s parents did not know what triggered the explosion.
“One minute he was fine, not talking a lot, but fine. When Peter (Jack’s father) said that he couldn’t buy a trinket, he blew up! We had no clue it was going to happen. One minute everything was fine and the next there was complete bedlam.” After calming down, Jack realized that he was wrong, but realized that he was totally unable to control his anger and he asked Diane to set up an appointment with me.

She also relayed a recent incident that happened at school, which ended with EMS being called to transport Jack to the hospital for observation. At the school and in the hospital, he was totally non-communicative. He would later tell us at that session that it was his attempt to control himself so he wouldn’t explode again. His method to control the anger from erupting was to totally shut off, saying that if he had said anything, he knew he would again lose control and once again explode. He was showing control in the attempt, but I needed to show him another way of controlling his anger, but I was running out of ideas.

Our appointment was on a Monday and when Jack, Diane and Peter came into my office, Jack seemed very upset, biting his lip, very sullen, referring to his parents as “he” and “she”. His parents described what had happened the day before. The argument had gotten so loud and out of control, that Jack said it got physical, describing how his mother grabbed him around his throat.

After a discussion involving how there are two sides to every story or argument, I got most of the facts needed and unfortunately, I saw a side of Jack that I had never seen before and it really concerned me.

This was another fight over Jack hearing the word “NO”, but it went entirely out of control. His father who told him that he couldn’t do something (what the something was, in fact, was unimportant) and Jack again exploded. Throwing things yelling at his father and culminating with Jack screaming at both parents…

“You are not my parents and never will be!” as he stormed away from them.

Diane explained that, that is when she physically restrained him, in order to calm the situation down.

In our past sessions, I felt that if he was conflicted by his anger, he needed to accept his anger in order to control it. Now he was accepting his anger so well, he was using it as a weapon to hurt the two people in the world who had proven to him that they would never reject him.

And now he was rejecting them!

I realized that the direction I was taking with Jack; specifically the acceptance of his anger did him a disservice.
I knew that if we could help him eliminate the anger, there would be no need to control it.

Eliminating anger is always preferable to simply controlling it, but again… how?

I knew that he had to accept the pain of growing up and that what was done, was done.
There was no changing history and the only way he would be able to get on with his life was to forgive everyone who hurt him.

I knew that without finding that forgiveness for all the people in his life who had betrayed him, any time he felt the least bit of understandable or justified anger, he would explode, automatically releasing all the pent up pain, rejection, anger and fury inappropriately at everyone near him.

The two people who warranted that release of anger the least and who unfortunately received it the most were his parents.

“Did that happen?” I asked Jack, “Did you really say that your parents?”
He simply said, “Yes…” with no eye contact.

I knew he was apologetic and wondered if his parents heard a real apology;
not just a gratuitous, “sorry…”

I continued, “Do you really feel that way? That they aren’t your parents and never will be?”
He again simply shook his head, no and again with no eye contact.
His sadness was palpable.

“Jack” I said, “Sometimes when you explode, you don’t think clearly and you can say things, really hurtful things, like what you said to your Mom and Dad, but you don’t mean them.
When these things are said, you want to take them back, but feel that it’s too late. So you want to apologize but you feel you can’t. Do you know what I’m saying?”

He looked up and nodded in agreement, in a way that I knew, he agreed with my assessment of the situation.

I continued, “Jack… Do you think that your mother would ever reject you? Now don’t answer right away… think about it…”

Without a second’s hesitation, he looked up at me, then to Diane, shaking his head, saying strongly… “NO!, she wouldn’t”

“Your father?” I asked. This time he hesitated a second, mulled over the question, took a deep breath and said truthfully and definitively… “No, he wouldn’t reject me either.”

“Do you absolutely believe that?” I asked
“You are not just saying that… It is what you truly believe?
Your parents WOULD NOT… EVER REJECT YOU?... Right?” He quietly nodded “yes”

“If you believe that, then, do you know how much it hurt these two people” referring to his parents" to hear those words from your mouth?”

As he looked up at them, tears were starting to form in his eyes (along with his father’s, his mother’s and mine).

The next posting will be next week and will conclude this 3 part Posting, reviewing the change in the way I used hypnotic intervention in Jack’s situation.

Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 2

Synopsis,
In Part 2 of this posting, I describe our hypnosis session and what was uncovered. Three days after our session, I spoke with Michelle’s mother who described the effects of our session. I offer my evaluation and comments on this hypnotic intervention.

Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 2

Michelle felt comfortable having her mother present during the session,
so the three of us moved from the waiting room in the front of my office
to my office to the back,
where Michelle sat on my recliner and her mother sat on a chair in the doorway.

The session began with new age type music;
Steven Halpern’s “Higher Ground”,
playing in the background.

I used a standard hypnotic “induction” called progressive relaxation and when Michelle allowed herself to relax and go into “the altered state” of hypnosis, I deepened her trance state by bringing her to a very safe place.

Michelle was a great hypnotic subject.
In a comparison to the general public,
regarding the ability to go deeply into hypnosis,
she is probably in the top 10 percent,
going very quickly, easily and deeply into “Somnambulism” (the most effective state of hypnosis).

When I work with a new client,
I must plan the session I will use with them, as we are talking.
The “small talk” is very important for me because I get insight to decide which hypnotic techniques from the hundreds available, is right for my client.

In talking with Michelle and her mother,
I decided that a combination of three techniques,
which I have used before, in cases like Michelle’s,
would probably work very effectively.

My plan for Michelle was to use
-“Parts Therapy” to identify the claustrophobic part of Michelle that was so fearful of elevators and once that part is found,
I would use;
-“Regression Therapy” to go back in time to the very first time this fearful part was formed.
This “First time” experience is known as the “ISE” The Initial Sensitizing Event and sets the foundation for the fear to grow;
and finally
-“Gestalt Therapy” to change her perception of the fear itself,
in order to eliminate the fear completely and permanently.

After Michelle was in a deep hypnotic state, I had her seek out that claustrophobic part of her subconscious (Parts Therapy).

When that part was found, we worked together to get in touch with how Michelle physically felt when in an elevator.
We followed that feeling to earlier and earlier times in her life
(Regression Therapy), until we found the ISE.

Her ISE was when she was four years old in Disneyworld.
She recalled being in her father’s arms as they were entering an elevator.
He reacted to the thought of being in an elevator with a powerful panic attack, running out of the elevator.

She realized that that was why she became claustrophobic.
Her father, who was her protector, demonstrated that there is something to desperately fear when in an elevator.

She was shown, exactly how and why this fear was accepted by her four year old self (Gestalt Therapy)
and with a little more insight,
she realized that the fear was not truly hers,
but an adopted fear that was no longer necessary.

Her hypnosis session went absolutely perfectly!

When the session was over, Mary said that she remembered the elevator experience but never realized that it was that experience that caused Michelle’s fear.

Michelle said that although she now remembers the experience, the memory had been repressed.

We went back out to my waiting room to discuss the session in greater detail.

I wanted to know what concerns Michelle still had.

For people who have just experienced hypnotic intervention for the relief of a phobia, the greatest concern is the “What-If’s”.
Specifically, What if it didn’t work?

When I brought up the “What-if” concern, both Mary and Michelle said that that was their largest concern.

My response to the What-if’s, is that she must challenge herself.

My suggestion was to go directly to the Rockaway Mall and go into every elevator in the place.

Challenging herself to gain back the control that she had lost.
To challenge herself to gain control and not let the fear control her any longer.

When they left my office, I felt absolutely confident that Michelle was going to be fear free and would gain control back in her life.

Three day later, I received a call from Mary.
“Garry, I have to tell you…”

Her tone of voice concerned me, quiet and serious.

“Damn” I thought,
her tone of voice sounds as if the fear that Michelle had was still present.
I was truly surprised.
Michelle’s session was picture perfect.
I would not have changed a single thing about the session; it was that perfect!
So why did I get the feeling that I was going to hear some bad news about the results of our session?

I was overreacting and wrong…

“I can’t express to you the results of your session with Michelle”
Mary started,
“Except to say, Thank you so, so much!”

I felt as if a weight was removed from my shoulders!
I was relieved, happy and curious as to how they knew so quickly that the phobia was gone.

“As you suggested, when we left you we went straight to the Rockaway Mall.
We went into every single elevator there and guess what?...
Not only did she have no fear at all,
but she was actually laughing in the elevator.”

When someone with fears similar to Michelle’s,
has had a lifelong phobia and gains their control back,
it is not uncommon for them to laugh
when they are in a situation that would have caused a phobic attack.

Laughter is the indication that they are aware of the fact that they are no longer controlled by their fear.
The laughter is the release they feel when the fear is replaced by a sense of control.

I always appreciate feedback from my clients. Some email me and I am thrilled to post their comments on my website.

When I heard how good Michelle was doing, I felt thankful that I was able to help a young person eliminate a fear that had been ruining her life and had brought her such heartache.

Even though it was Michelle who obviously gained the most from our session, each and every session I have, where I can contribute to someone’s happiness, I also gain.
I am thankful for that opportunity to participate in a situation where there is mutual joy and closure.

If you are interested to learn more about fears and phobias, look at my 3 part article “PHOBIAS A to Z”

http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html

http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009/05/phobias-from-to-z-part-2.html

http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/2009/05/phobias-from-to-z-part-3.html

Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle- Part 1

Synopsis;
This 2 part entry is about Michelle (not her real name) a 19 year old High School graduate who is going to be attending college in the fall of 2009. She has claustrophobia which manifests specifically in a fear of elevators and enclosed spaces. In Part 1, I describe in general, my experience with working with people who have phobias; getting a call from Michelle’s mother; my first impressions and the specific plan I decided to use to help Michelle eliminate this phobia and be able to fearlessly get on with her life.


Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 1

The elimination of fears may be one of my most favorite hypnosis sessions.
I do believe there is no other type of intervention that has such a powerful and immediately positive result as hypnotic intervention for the purpose of eliminating a phobia.

When people come to my office for the elimination of fears or phobias, it is as if they are sitting there in the waiting room, with a dark cloud over their head. Phobic people are consumed with their particular phobia.
If they are not currently in the midst of a phobic attack, which can manifest from a mild discomfort to a full blown panic attack, they are constantly dreading and anticipating the emergence of the symptoms.

Very often fears or phobias take on a life of their own;
compounding, strengthening and sucking the joy from the person’s life.
Often the phobic person’s fear has been ruining their lives for as long as they can remember.

There are many different types and causes of phobias (see my blog posting “Phobias from A to Z”)
http://hyp4lifellc.blogspot.com/search/label/Phobias

There are also many commonalities between people with phobias.
-These fears are very often lifelong fears.
-They tend to become stronger over the years and manifest in other areas in the person’s life.
-The victim of a phobia feels hopeless and helpless against their fear.
-They feel alone in their fear; that no one truly can understand how the fear affects them.
-That no one takes their fear seriously; saying thing like, “just deal with it” or “Get over it, you’re such a wimp!”
-Often their self respect is negatively affected and they feel weak and helpless against it.
-The phobia itself becomes a tangible entity always present, ready to pounce and steal away what little joy the victim has left.

But, perhaps the most common and debilitating commonality is the “Tag Team” of “Anticipatory Anxiety” and the “Self-Fulfilling Prophesy”.
I call them a tag team because that is how they work; in tandem.
Anticipating the phobia, sets the stage for it to happen and unfortunately it almost always comes true.

Michelle’s mother Mary (not her real name) called me with many concerns for her daughter.
Mary said that Michelle would be attending college in the fall of 2009 and there were elevators in the dorm.
When Michelle saw them her phobias went into high gear.
Mary also told me that Michelle had been coping with the fear of elevators and enclosed places, by avoiding them.
She had sought therapy, but it didn’t help and she was curious if hypnosis could help her daughter.
We made an appointment for the following week.

In the office, my first impression was that Michelle was an attractive eighteen year old who reminded me of my daughter, when she was a senior in the same high school.

As I normally do, I began the session with introductions and a brief biography about how I became involved with hypnosis; how hypnosis works; the conscious and sub-conscious mind; etc.
The reason for this small talk in the beginning is for many and specific reasons.
It allows people to get comfortable with me and it allows me to decide on which of the hundreds of hypnotic interventions available for me to use, is right for my client.
I allow extra time for what may seem to be “small talk” but in fact it is critical, so everyone is calm and relaxed, before we begin the hypnotherapeutic part of the session.

I observed that Michelle was a bit nervous, which is very common and normal, but there was more.
She wanted it to work so badly and wanted to get right to the hypnosis.
Some people, who come to see me for the first time, may be a bit nervous and want to talk before the hypnosis session begins.
Michelle seemed distracted and I sensed that she did not want to talk at all. My sense was that she wanted to get right on with the hypnosis; small talk was unnecessary.

I asked her if my hunch was correct…
that she was OK with hypnosis,
that she felt and hoped it would work and that she just wanted to do it and hopefully she would be “cured” of this fear that has taken the joy from her life.

After explaining that I needed to know some more information from her, she relaxed and became less anxious to begin. I told her that we could get started as soon as I had all the information I needed.

Michelle relayed to me how the fear ruined her life;
How she had an opportunity to see the taping of the Tyra Banks TV show
and as soon as she saw the elevator she couldn’t go in the building,
causing annoyance to her friends and fear, embarrassment and frustration to Michelle;
how her boyfriend is losing patience with having to adjust his social life to accommodate her fears,
along with a few more situations when her life was negatively impacted by her fear.

I then asked her if she always had this fear and if anyone else in the family had similar phobias. She said that her fear was present for as long as she could remember and Mary offered the (important) fact that Michelle’s father and she had similar phobias. With a half smile, Mary suggested that perhaps “Michelle got it from us”, meaning her parents.

I explained to them both that phobias are not genetic or hereditary; they are environmentally started.

I felt that the fear started with a panic attack her father or mother experienced when Michelle was little and the fear imprinted in the subconscious of Michelle’s young mind.

I described to both Mary and Michelle, what I planned to do.
Under hypnosis, I would have Michelle enter “The Hallway of Her Mind”,
seeking the “Part” of her that is frightened of enclosed places like elevators.
Once we allow the memory to come out of the sub-conscious,
I can then do a process called “Reframing”
where I actually change the way Michelle felt about the memory.

The important thing to remember is that we do not eliminate the memory…
we can’t.
But we can change the way the person feels about the memory and thus, eliminating the fear associated with the thing that is frightening them so badly.


In the next posting
“Claustrophobia, Elevators, Hypnosis and Michelle Part 2”,
I will describe how the hypnosis session went and what was uncovered.
Three days after our session,
I spoke with Michelle’s mother who described the results and my evaluation and comments on this hypnotic intervention.

Our Changing Times - Our Amazing Times

It is Saturday 6/20/2009 and it’s raining…
It has been raining now for three straight weeks in a row and it feels like three months in a row. I feel like a moldy wet rag and I can’t wait to see blue sky and the sun again.

My wife is at work and I have the house to myself.
I have been struggling with a two-month-old writers block, but I have recently been feeling the urge (need) to write.

So here I sit, at my kitchen, looking out into the wet, grey sky. Feeling blah…

I have my laptop on the table, open to my book,
“Spiritual Evolution- A Journey from Atheism to Spirituality”…
I notice that for whatever reason, I am distracted.
I have the TV on CNN and I am engrossed by what I am seeing.

Iran… What had been the “Axis of Evil” ...our enemy…
Is in the midst of another revolution.

The first thirty years ago was bad for the US but worse for the world.

Religious extremism of any type… Muslim, Christian, Jew is simply wrong.

Now images of young Iranians putting their lives at risk in support of their freedom are on CNN and I can’t break away.
I see the bodies of young Iranians, lying bloody; being carried by their friends and relatives and my thoughts and prayers go to these young freedom fighters.

I ask myself, Why is it that one small group of people who are in control of a larger group, always seem to resort to violence to keep that control?

And I think of how sometimes, I take the precious gift of our freedom for granted.

The rain outside my window suddenly seemed less dreary;
the clouds seemed less grey.

In comparison to what was happening half the world away I feel embarrassed by my own selfishness and self centeredness.

I am brought back to the early 1960’s with JFK as our president when I was a naïve, idealistic pre-teen.
The way I felt about our great country was to be challenged when that great man fell.
With each shameful act of violence to keep control, my idealism faded and my cynicism grew.
Robert Kennedy,Martin Luther King,
It seemed as soon as there was someone to believe in, someone else was there who didn’t believe and resorted to violence to stop any new hope.

Again, my hope returned with the promise of the Clinton administration,
only to be disappointed by the man himself, but not his message.

Now I am sitting at my same old kitchen table,
watching my same old TV and trying to write in my book,
but I am witness to an amazing change in a country thousands of miles away
that will not allow me to do anything but sit and watch change, in action.

This change for freedom is being accomplished by the voice of the Iranian people and I am brought to the recent change in our country.

Our change was peaceful, organized and a polar shift from the previous administration, with no violence.

How great is this country?

And I am once again an idealist no longer naïve; too much life experience in these 59 year old bones, hardened by too many “What could have been’s”.

But here I am again,
Mr. Idealist and proud to be one.

Now, always the optimist, even when I have been disappointed so often, I look at the TV and think of the “What If’s”.

I think back to the time, seven months ago on Election Day 2008 (Another memory that will always remain with me).

10 pm watching MSNBC and thinking
“He might actually do it! Obama may be the first African American president of the United States of America”.

I remember thinking that this man, may be “The One…”
The one that Kennedy could have been, given the chance.

But, Obama is different than all the rest or at least it feels that way to me… This time I don’t think I will be disappointed.

I gave myself the audacity to think... “What if”.

And at 11pm when Keith Obermann said
“MSNBC now projects that Barack Obama IS the next president of the US”, with my jaw agape and a tear in my eye, I thought “What if?”

What if he can change the view the world has of my country?
What if he can bring us together?
What if this was just the beginning of the changes?

"What If" there is the same change in Iran?
And now I am sitting at the same old table…
In the same chair…
Watching the same TV… on the same channel,
But the world could be very different tomorrow…
What if we could actually have World Peace, for our children?!

This is certainly an amazing time to be alive on this planet.

PHOBIAS from A to Z - Part 3

Synopsis;
In this, the third posting on Phobias, I write about how hypnosis can help with the removal of phobias; the hypnotic method I use to control and eliminate phobias and a case study of a client who had a lifelong fear of the water but no longer has Hydrophobia - Fear of water.

How hypnosis helps

There are many “tools” a hypnotherapist has at his disposal. I tend to combine different tools to make the most effective therapy for each client.

No two people are the same, so through combining different proven therapies and techniques, I offer each client an individualized plan of action; this is at the core of “Transpersonal Hypnotherapy”.

I have found that the most powerful and effective method of eliminating phobias is to combine two different hypnotic techniques; “Parts Therapy” and “Regression Therapy”.

Parts Therapy, is a technique developed in the 1950’s by Charles Tebbetts, a hypnotherapist who found that you can have a dialog with a “Part” of a person’s subconscious.

Regression Therapy is a hypnotic technique used to have a person go back in time to where the fear started.

Combining the two works very effectively to find the memory that caused the phobia and then with other therapies, eliminate the fear and give back control to the person.

Under hypnosis, a person with a phobia is directed to a comfortable place and given the suggestion that they are safe and have survived whatever caused the fear.

Once I determine the source of the phobia and more importantly the person remembers what had been a repressed memory, the power and fear the memory had had is greatly diminished.

Case Study on Hydrophobia - Sue

This is a case study of a young woman who was able to overcome her lifelong fear of the water with one hypnosis session.

Sue (not her real name) called, asking about the effectiveness of hypnosis for stopping a phobia of water. She described her fear as “not afraid of showers, but I never take a bath!” Her voice shook as she even mentioned a bath.

She continued describing how she never goes in a pool or the beach, that she can’t swim and was deathly afraid of being on a boat.

We made an appointment for the following Monday. It would be our first and only session.

At the beginning of her session, she relayed how the phobia was being controlled by avoiding the places where she would be around water.

“I have been able to deal really well with the fear, I just don’t go in a pool, a lake, the beach or the ocean. I take showers instead of a bath. I never put myself in a situation when I would take a cruise or be on the water. So I felt that I didn’t need any help, I dealt with the fear by avoiding water and I was fine. But I now have a major problem and it will ruin my life if I can’t fix it.”

She relayed to me that she is a single mother of a nine year old boy.
She is engaged to a wonderful man who loves her and her son.
Her fiancée wants to marry her and adopt her son.

She described a perfect relationship and then informed me of the majorly huge hurdle in her life.

“He has a house on Lake Hopatcong, with a dock and a speed boat” she said as if telling me he had a terminal disease.

“He loves his boat! He is on the lake every weekend and all summer long!
His friends, who I love, all have boats!
Our whole social life is on the water!
My son loves being there with him and he wants me to go out so badly, but as soon as I step foot on the dock, I start to shake!
Once he actually had to carry me off the dock!
PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!”

I told her that hypnosis can help.

Fortunately, she was an excellent hypnotic subject, who went almost immediately into a very deep state of hypnosis.
As I described earlier, I brought out her “fearful part” and had that part of her “Regress” - go back in time to the very first time she was aware of her hydrophobia.

Without going into great detail, I had her go to a time when she wasn’t afraid of water and then “Progressed” her to a time when she was fearful.

As I observed her, a memory reflected through the expression on her face.

“I was 9 years old…” she said in a faint whisper.

“My parents wanted me to learn how to swim, so we went to the lake (Hopatcong) and they hired a lifeguard to teach me…”

“Oh my God, I see it all so clearly…” she said, her eyes closed, yet I could see her eyes moving left and right.

“We went into the water which was up to my neck. The lifeguard held me so I was on my stomach. He told me to breathe when he said I should and he held my face in the water and turned my head up yelling

‘BREATH!...
HOLD!...
BREATH!’

He kept holding my head underwater, pulling me out only when I was choking!...”

Whispering, “I never remembered that until this very moment”, tears streaming down her face.

I then did some hypnotic techniques called “Reframing” where she gained back the control that had been taken from her.

After the session, she thanked me and I told her the only way she will know for sure that she is phobia free is to test herself on the boat. She agreed, with the comment, I'll call you for another appointment if it doesn't work.

That weekend my phone rang and it was Sue, she was on her cell phone.

There was a lot of noise in the background.

“Garry?” she said.

“I wanted to thank you for saving my life!”

I think she was exaggerating, but the feeling you get when you realize a joy-draining phobia is eliminated can make a person exaggerate a little.

“I am calling from the boat!"

"Me and my new family we are on the lake! I can’t believe it… It is so much fun! Thank you so much!”

If you are plagued by a phobia, you don’t have to deal with it, you can eliminate it and realize how much better your life can be phobia-free!

PHOBIAS from A to Z - Part 2

Synopsis; In this, the second posting on Phobias, I write about how the natural process of the primitive part of the brain contributes to the acquisition of phobias; how phobias form; the hypnotic method I use to control and eliminate phobias.

In the last posting “Phobias from A to Z – Part 1”, I describe how the primitive brain effects the “Fight or Flight” instinct.
In the cave man example, you can see how, because it was so necessary to react instantly to perceived threats, the functioning of the primitive brain was essential for survival of the human race.

Keep in mind, that the cause (the killing of a clan member) of the Fight or Flight instinct would be repressed.

The horror of witnessing the killing of a loved one would be blocked from the awareness of the young clan member by their subconscious.

However, the reaction to seeing a jaguar (the symbol of the horror) would result in an immediate, critical and unthinking response.
You may say that the young clan member had a phobia of jaguars.

In modern society, the threat to your survival is much more complex than those of ancient times. Say what you will, the society we live in today is obviously more civil than that of primitive times. The human brain has also advanced, but still, at its’ core is the same primitive brain stem that helped our ancient ancestors to survive and become the modern day human being.

Our subconscious has many functions, not all are yet known to us. It is a protector, a servant, and the storehouse of knowledge, memories, emotions, habits and much more.

Referring again, to the caveman analogy from Part 1, you can see why the function of repressing the horrific memory, while automatically causing a fight or flight reaction, was critical to survival.

However, in a society where we are not threatened with life or death on a daily basis, the function that was essential to the survival of a primitive man is now, in a modern society, contributing to the manifestation of so many phobias.

How do phobias form?

Generally speaking, phobias can form in two ways.
In an adult, a phobia can form after a severe traumatic experience, such as a plane crash or a life threatening accident. In a traumatic experience, you can understand how a phobia could start. These phobias are usually temporary and fade with time.

Phobias formed in childhood are much more common and devastating.
When a child, between two and seven is witness to a traumatic experience (or a perceived traumatic experience) their primitive brain stem reacts the same as a primitive man; repressing the specific memory and triggering the “Fight or Flight Response”.
The memory of the traumatic incident is buried or repressed, again, by the subconscious, but the reaction to seeing the symbol of the trauma is reacted to in the same way our ancestors did.

Each time the repressed memory is stirred, whether by seeing or experiencing something that would stir that memory, the phobic reaction is stirred.
The reaction stirred by these repressed memories present themselves as phobias, each time the repressed memory is stimulated.
The phobic person will feel a variety of emotions, from mild discomfort to a full-blown panic attack.

Phobic Commonalities

“…I always had the fear of public speaking. Every time I needed to speak in front of people, my face would get red hot, I’d sweat… my voice would shake, I couldn’t breath. I assumed that I had ALWAYS been that way. I didn’t know any different. Then when I was hypnotized, the memory of my 2nd grade class came to me, my teacher and the kids in the class laughing at me; it all came back… I finally remembered and understood why I had the phobia. And it stopped! I couldn’t and still can’t believe it, but it worked!...”

a quote from Phil, a Police Captain with a severe public speaking phobia.
One common feeling many people with phobias have is the lack of knowledge or understanding of where and why they have their particular phobia.
Many people, who have had hypnotic intervention for the relief of a phobia, have told me that they remembered how and why the phobia began, only after being hypnotized.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophesy of a phobia.

“…Sometimes I think I will get an attack, and it happens, I’ll be fine until the
thought of chocking comes into my mind and then it happens…”,

a quote from Mary, a 47 year old who had a fear of chocking her whole life.
Very often sufferers of phobias will actually predict an attack happening.
This self-fulfilling prophesy aspect of phobias are common to all phobias.
Unfortunately, when you allow a thought to come into your mind, it is an exercise in futility to get it out. When you anticipate it happening it will happen.

The Anticipatory Anxiety factor; the third commonality…

“… I live with the phobia, I stay inside, but I also live with the fear of when it will happen; it can be worse than the fear itself… I live 24-7 with either the fear of seeing a bird or the fear of the phobia of seeing a bird”,

a quote from Karen, a 50 year old hairstylist with a fear of birds.
The fear of the phobia becomes worse than the fear itself. When a phobia is so ingrained, a person has no joy in their life because it (the phobia) is all they think of.

When you are in the midst of a phobic attack, you feel that you are alone in your fear and there is nothing that you can do!

It controls you and you are powerless to take that control back.

It takes on a presence of its own. All too often, people who have phobias will try to simply, avoid any chance of being where their phobia may be activated.
If you have a fear of birds, like Karen, you stay indoors.

If, like Phil, you have a public speaking phobia, you would never put yourself in a position to be speaking in front of a crowd.

However, what if you must deal with a phobia?

You can go to “Talk Therapy”, where you can discuss where and when it started and if you find the cause, you can find closure and cure.

You may learn coping strategies to “live with” the phobia.

However, if the function of the subconscious is the protector that will block the painful memory that causes the phobia AND is the store room for all your memories, it becomes quite difficult to determine where and when it started.
The place, the subconscious, which has the information for you to understand why you have a phobia, is the same place that is designed to keep that information from you.
I call this a phobic’s “Catch-22” and it is no joking matter.

I combine two hypnosis processes for the elimination of phobias. Combining Parts Therapy with Regression Therapy, works very powerfully to allow the sufferer of a phobia, get their life back.

In the next posting, titled “Phobias A to Z - Part 3” I will describe how hypnosis helps a phobic person eliminate the phobia and describe a case study about Sue, a single mom with a lifelong phobia of water- hydrophobia.

Feel free to make a comment on y blog, I will be happy to post it.

PHOBIAS from A to Z - Part 1

Synopsis;
In this posting I cover the subject of phobias. There is a listing of many phobias in alphabetical order and a lighthearted and serious view of phobias. I also give definitions of phobias, the brain the functioning of the sub-conscious and its effect on the conscious mind and how the brain forms phobias.

Phobias from A to Z

Fears and phobias have been with us since we first walked the planet.
They have been the subject of stories around a campfire, of books, of short stories, movies, radio shows, television and more.

As you can see from the following list, there are hundreds of phobias;
some seem understandable like Lilapsophobia – the fear of tornadoes;
some seem silly like Dendrophobia – the fear of trees;
some seem obvious like Aichmophobia – the fear of needles;
some seem bizarre like Octophobia – the fear of the number 8;
some seem strange like Barophobia – the fear of gravity;
some seem exhausting like Somniphobia – the fear of sleep;
some seem redundant like Phobophobia – the fear of phobias;
some make sense like Atychiphobia – the fear of failure
and
some seem common, like the number 1 phobia in the world...
Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.

Below is an alphabetical listing of just some phobias…

Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.
Acrophobia - Fear of heights.
Agliophobia - Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces or crowds.
Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
Androphobia - Fear of men.
Anginophobia - Fear of angina or choking.
Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers.
Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society.
Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.
Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers.
Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightening.
Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.
Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.
Autophobia - Fear of being alone.
Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria.
Barophobia - Fear of gravity.
Bathmophobia - Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians.
Belonephobia - Fear of pins and needles.
Bibliophobia - Fear of books.
Botanophobia - Fear of plants.
Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed.
Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.
Chionophobia - Fear of snow.
Chromophobia - Fear of colors.
Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.
Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.
Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.
Cyberphobia - Fear of computers.
Cynophobia - Fear of dogs.
Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.
Dentophobia - Fear of dentists.
Domatophobia - Fear of houses.
Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents.
Ecophobia - Fear of the home.
Elurophobia - Fear of cats.
Entomophobia - Fear of insects.
Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.
Equinophobia - Fear of horses.
Gamophobia - Fear of marriage.
Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
Gynophobia - Fear of women.
Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.
Hemophobia - Fear of blood.
Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles.
Hydrophobia - Fear of water.
Iatrophobia - Fear of doctors.
Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.
Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.
Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth.
Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking.
Megalophobia - Fear of large things.
Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
Microphobia - Fear of small things.
Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs.
Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things.
Noctiphobia - Fear of the night.
Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals.
Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight.
Octophobia - Fear of the number 8.
Ombrophobia - Fear of rain.
Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.
Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.
Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.
Pathophobia - Fear of disease.
Pedophobia - Fear of children.
Philophobia - Fear of love.
Phobophobia - Fear of phobias.
Podophobia - Fear of feet.
Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.
Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns.
Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying.
Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.
Scolionophobia - Fear of school.
Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.
Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation.
Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.
Tachophobia - Fear of speed.
Technophobia - Fear of technology.
Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.
Trypanophobia - Fear of injections.
Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women.
Verminophobia - Fear of germs.
Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft.
Xenophobia - Fear of strangers or foreigners.
Zoophobia - Fear of animals.

The one thing that all phobias have in common, (actually, there are many more than “one thing”) is that they are no laughing matter for the millions of people who suffer from them.

A phobia that may seem silly or insignificant to you may be ruining the life of its victim.
People who suffer from phobias are in a constant state of apprehension and fear.
They are haunted by their fear both day and night,
by what is causing it;
by when it will happen again;
if they will ever be able to control it;
will they be embarrassed by their phobic attack?

Their lives are controlled by their particular phobia
and they are helpless to control their fears
and because they are helpless, they become hopeless.


Fortunately, I have found a very effective tool to help people with phobias gain control over their fears
and with this control, comes hope and finally a life free from debilitating fear.

The tool I am referring to is Hypnosis;
specifically PARTS Therapy.
Started in the 1950’s by Charles Tebbetts, this therapy goes directly to the “part” of the subconscious where the phobia resides, or more accurately…hides.

In order to understand and overcome the debilitating effects of a phobia, we first must thoroughly understand exactly what a phobia is, how it works from the subconscious and how it was formed.
Then, armed with that understanding a person with a phobia has the tools to overcome it;
to live a happier, normal fear-free life.

So…

“What is a Phobia?”

“Medline Plus” describes a phobia as

“…a type of anxiety disorder. It is a strong, irrational fear of something that poses little or no actual danger. There are many specific phobias. Acrophobia is a fear of heights. You may be able to ski the world's tallest mountains but be unable to go above the 5th floor of an office building. Agoraphobia is a fear of public places, and claustrophobia is a fear of closed-in places. If you become anxious and extremely self-conscious in everyday social situations, you could have a social phobia. Other common phobias involve tunnels, highway driving, water, flying, animals and blood...”

Wikipedia has a longer description and describes a phobia as

“…a morbid fear; an irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain situations,
activities, things, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject. When the fear is beyond one's control, or if the fear is interfering with daily life it is considered a phobia… "
"...Phobias (in the clinical meaning of the term) are the most common form of anxiety disorders. An American study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) found that between 8.7% and 18.1% of Americans suffer from phobias. Broken down by age and gender, the study found that phobias were the most common mental illness among women in all age groups and the second most common illness among men older than 25...”
"...Most psychologists and psychiatrists classify phobias into three categories:
Social phobia,
also known as social anxiety disorder - fears involving other people or social situations such as performance anxiety or fears of embarrassment by scrutiny of others, such as eating in public. Social phobia may be further subdivided into generalized social phobia, and specific social phobia, which are cases of anxiety triggered only in specific situations.
Specific phobias -
fear of a single specific panic trigger such as spiders, snakes, dogs, elevators, water,
waves, flying, balloons, catching a specific illness, etc.
Agoraphobia -
a generalized fear of leaving home or a small familiar 'safe' area, and of possible panic attacks that might follow.,,"
The human brain is the center of the human nervous system and is a highly complex organ. It has the same general structure as the brains of other mammals, but is over five times as large as the "average brain" of a mammal with the same body size. Most of the expansion comes from the cerebral cortex, a convoluted layer of neural tissue that covers the surface of the forebrain. Especially expanded are the frontal lobes, which are involved in executive functions such as self-control, planning, reasoning, and abstract thought. The portion of the brain devoted to vision is also greatly
enlarged in humans.

The brain is the physical home of the conscious and subconscious…

OK…

We can (and I have) researched the heck out of phobias, but I can never find in my research, where they come from…
How and why they form…

Through working with many people with phobias,
I have found my own method of helping phobic people
and it doesn’t include months and months of talking sessions.

If you have no idea where it came from, what is the point of talking about phobias endlessly?
I feel it only strengthens its hold over you.

As I have described in other posts, the subconscious is the servant to the conscious mind, but by some of the complications it causes, you may disagree with that statement.

Picture this…

You are a caveman,
living a hunter/ gatherer existence.
You are primitive, living with your clan
and you are also hunted by other larger predators.

In order to survive, you must react instantly to a perceived threat.
But how do you instantly react?

Your primitive brain comes into play with the “Fight or Flight” instinct.
But it is not a true instinct, it must be learned…

So, there you are in the forest,
with your clan,
hunting rabbits,
picking vegetables etc.

You are 5 years old walking behind your mother.
Suddenly a large Jaguar leaps on your older brother,
dragging him screaming, bleeding and dying into the bush!

Your tribe instantly reacts!
The men throw their weapons!
The women grab you and the other small ones and run!
The image is burned into your mind, permanently!

To survive, they reacted instantly…
Fought and Fled and survived.

But, so that you never remember the horror of seeing the death of your brother,
your subconscious mind repressed and blocked the image of the scene from your conscious awareness.

You can’t recall your brother’s death,
but to survive,
it also lets the emotions of the event react in your mind,
each and every time the image of a Jaguar comes to you.

When seeing a Jaguar, from that moment on, you would either fight or flee,
without thought…

reaction MUST be immediate, without thought…
to survive.

So when a Jaguar is seen,
you like all your clan, react immediately almost instinctively,
but you will never remember why you react the way you do;
and you and your clan… survive.

This response is hard wired in our brains right now, from our distant past,
but… what was a survival mechanism then, is now causing phobias.

Webliography
Google
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/phobias.html
Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phobia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_brain


In my next posting titled “Phobias A to Z - Part 2”
I will be describing how this survival mechanism from our past, causes our phobias; how phobias are formed; and commonalities between many phobias.
Please feel free to make comments.